Damini and our mindset...

Yesterday one of my junior sent me a message on Facebook expressing her agony  describing some of her personal experiences along with a serious question,

"Dada, can't we do something so that we can feel somewhat more secure? What if I'm the next Damini?"

I've not been able to reply her till now.. What should I say? Can I assure her for sure that she would never face such a situation? She has sent me the message in good faith, but actually alone I'm nobody.. All across India, the situation is the same.. Girls can never feel secured.. and the reason? the perverted males and our mindset as a whole..

You see, most of you most probably remember the incident here in Guwahati in July 2012, which shook the whole world.. One teenage girl was molested publicly on the busy G.S.Road at around 9.30 pm and almost everyone present on the scene were just silent spectators..  Now once again even less than 6 months of that said incident, a 23 years old girl was brutally raped and murdered in the most barbaric way, and that too again in India.. Until and unless there are some stringent laws against these offences, these will just continue.. The ideal one what I would advocate here is nothing but the capital punishment. It seems cruel, but right at this moment I feel the punishment offered in Saudi Arabia and some other countries are appropriate for such kind of crimes!! I won't say that just enforcing some tough punishments will bring the total numbers of these crimes to zero, but in our society, where the number of perverts exceeds far far more than that of good people, it can be hoped that the fear for losing one's life as punishment will reduce these crimes to a significant level.

We all agree that respect can't be taken, its acquired or gained.. But if you don't get the 'deserved' respect, then be sure that you are amongst some people who are illiterate enough to pay respect or they are ignorant of your value.. Ignorance can be overcome by awareness and proper counselling. but how to deal with the mindset which are just not willing to pay you the due respect? It calls for a change.. The change in the brought up, the change in the teaching and overall the change in the mindset of our people.. In our Indian culture, we pray so many goddesses, yet the crime against females are yet too high here.. pathetic!!! We all feel sympathy for any rape victim, but very few will be willing to include that survivor as a new family member. There are some families where the kids from the very beginning witness the females to be dominated, tortured and used, and their thinking develops accordingly... Most of our women are also used to be being used or tortured and yet still instead of teaching their sons to respect women, most of them expect their daughters to follow their footsteps without fail.. After all "PATI PARAMESHWAR"!!! Thats our mindset!!!

Go through national newspapers..Quite often it is seen that after a girl child is raped, she is expelled from her school because other children don't feel comfortable to study with her.. Question yourself.. does other children really have that feeling of discomfort? actually not.. these feeling have been infused by their parents.. but these same parents expect other parents to have sympathy in case their own innocent child suffers the same. Thats our mindset!!!

Everybody is against rape, but whenever someone comes forward to marry a known rape survivor, it becomes the talk of the town.. the boy becomes a 'Mahapurush', even though he wanted to be a normal guy expecting a normal marriage... and the girl once again becomes the thing to feel pity for. Thats our mentality!!!

That means the survivor gets lifetime mental torture free of cost for the crime she didn't commit.. and the real culprit just escape unnoticed in most of the cases.. and even if the real culprit gets arrested, there are so many loopholes in our judiciary system that because of money and manpower, by using some well known advocates, some of them yet get least possible punishment..

About stringent punishment against these offences, we can raise our voices and make the government aware of our demands.. They are the law makers and they are expected to act on behalf of the public!! But above all the most important thing that we can do is to change our mindset..

When your innerwear becomes visible after someone forcefully tears your decent dress, most of us will eventually forget about the causal incident, but obviously raise questions regarding your motive or dress sense!! and some would even try to take a chance to touch and feel those exposed parts!! Thats our mindset!!

So wake up guys and grow up!!! Try to change the law and most importantly change our mindset!!!

Never killed any human being..

That day I had seen the trailer of an interview of a "top class(!!)" terrorist leader (under peace talk) at a private news channel..

In reply to a query, he said,

"I've never killed any human being till date."

Try your extreme justification to prove that you are great!!

All I have to say, may be not directly, but your 'direction' has wiped away so many innocent lives.. and you can never get rid of those sins... By one way or the other, you'll definitely have to pay!!!

Plainly Emotional act

Today one boy of around 20 years came to my cabin to have one unit of blood for his brother. As they didn't have any donor at that moment, I wrote my direction to issue one unit of blood on loan basis... then, all of a sudden he touched my feet saying, "Thank you sir!!"

Whatever may be the reason, I never expect anybody to touch my feet... I don't deserve this.. I am not going to say that it was a great feeling when he touched my feet unexpectedly... Precisely, to be true, I didn't feel great.. Instead I felt the pain he is going through.. I felt his  emotional attachment with his brother.. I felt the mental trauma his family is suffering.. By this innocent act, he made me feel everything..!!!

Love your wife? Build a Tajmahal. !!

Today I met a guy who came to Blood Bank to have 2 units of blood for his wife. His wife is G9 P6+2. For those, who couldn't understand, simply, his wife is pregnant for the 9th time, they have 6 children and the wife already had 2 abortions. This was their 1st visit to any doctor, that too after attempted incomplete criminal abortion. That means some untrained dai or somebody had already unsuccessfully tried to abort the present pregnancy.

His justification was, "My parents don't like my wife to visit doctors!!"

I didn't talk much as he was under mental stress.. but, thats the scenario.. Even after so much emphasis on family planning, some people just deliberately remain out of reach of health care  facility.. Leave aside lack of awareness..

Wife is not a birth machine... No point of building Tajmahal after your wife dies to show that you care. Try to make her happy when she is alive!!!

She is like my wife!!

That day one guy introduced me to his wife with quite a shy smile saying,

"Mur wife'ei hoi aru!!!" {"She is like my wife!!!"}
And for me, he was not the first guy...

Even after parenting 2/3 children, some people are too shy to introduce their better halves!!!

Its also an way to express one's love I suppose !!! :-):-):-)

What if..

Today my little niece asked me seriously, (she calls me 'doctor dada', even though I am her uncle!)

"Doctor dada, what if some serious patients come on your marriage day?"

I replied humorously, "Then I'll have my marriage at the emergency department!! :-):-)"

Once again she asked me with a serious note, "What if some patients need you at that very moment when you are taking vows of marriage?" (She referred to Jagya/Saat phera!)

I didn't know what to answer.. I just smiled, caressed her hair and kissed her both cheeks..

It was her childish question, but this question forced me to rethink.. If someone falls ill in front of us even at some most important moments of our life, we can't just ignore, but try our level best...

Thats our profession.. and yet still I can't stop loving it..

Momentary relationship...

That day I was riding my bike and incidentally I forgot to lift the side stand.. As a physician, I've witnessed a no. of accidents happening just because of this.. Another one person, who was also riding a bike did bring this to my notice by using sign language and I promptly acted accordingly..

He might be a jolly person.. Coz.. As he was crossing, he looked towards me and waived me the 'thumbs up' sign.. His action brought me a smile of gratitude.. Both of us were wearing full mask helmets and I know we would never know each other, but this unknown relationship lasting for a moment brought some amount of pleasure to my world..

Yeah.. We all know that life is too tough.. But its also true that like this one, some momentarily happy daily incidents keep our life easy going!!!

What an idea Sir ji..

Yesterday one grandma from my neighbourhood asked me how to remove the sim card from her cell phone..

Her 4 year old grandson, who was present at that moment, took the cell from her and said,

"Don't you know? Its very easy.. Even I can do it!!"

Even before we could think about anything, he threw the mobile perpendicular to the floor, and then.. BANG..

The battery, handset, sim card and the back cover all came in 4 pieces..

What an idea sir ji... :-):-)

Can't we do something for these kids?

Today I spent some time in an orphanage with my fiancee. We had a great time with the kids there. At the time of our departure, they thanked us and waved bye bye reminding us to visit again..

Some of these kids are abandoned by their parents. Some are victims of circumstances.. It was my 3rd visit to this orphanage, even I know most of them by name.. and the eternal happiness that I gain amongst those kids can't be expressed in words.. They were aware of our visit and as soon as we reached, they joyfully shouted amongst themselves, "Sir and Baidew has reached.." So precious feeling!!! Even these kids understand that we care for them.. I don't know how to express my feelings.. But they are so cute and adorable that I wished I could adopt one then and there... Even I mentioned it to my fiancee and it appeared like she also wished the same.. But there are some legal obligations and we'll have to see what we can do later..

What I want to say is that... We are always surrounded by friends and family.. But these little kids have nobody around.. And its not because of their fault.. They are just too innocent..

Kids are just kids.. They need proper attention, care, guidance and affection.. But these kids lack all these.. Can we spare some moments for them? I am not aware of the proceedings, but can't we spend a little amount of our income for their benefit?

I am not talking about everybody here.. I know, some of us are having trouble running own family.. But those who can spare or spend, they can surely think about it.. I've already made up my mind.. We all know it well.. Living for oneself is actually not the living...!!!