Hurt at Heart... But...

That day I was on my way to my hometown Morigaon. At the last stoppage when I got down from the vehicle, the driver approached me,

"Sir, are you Pratap Hazarika sir's elder son?

"Yes..."

"May I ask you one thing?"

I was confused what he was upto... Yet I nodded in the affirmative...

"Sir, what if somebody skips his medications for diabetes for a few days?"

"Are you the guy?"

"Yes sir..."

Without going into unnecessary details, I explained him briefly and informed that it may be even life threatening and asked him to restart the medications and then to consult his physician at the earliest.... It was also informed well that being a diabetic, by driving a vehicle while skipping his medications, he was even unknowingly playing with ours and many other's lives...

"Actually sir... I had some misunderstanding with my wife a few days back... I became too upset... I felt like nobody cares for me, so why should I care for myself ? But today she has returned... And when she came to know about my medicines, she cried  a lot blaming herself... I felt really sorry for her.. It was actually my mistake... But sir... Now I have the urge to live my life once again... "

Even though I concealed my feelings, I had a feeling of  mixed emotions...

He was definitely hurt at heart... But he was making a blunder... He was intentionally inviting sufferings for himself and the whole family... Hopefully he would not repeat the same... And now that he is happy, I too somehow felt happy for this unknown guy !!!

This guy was lucky enough in the sense that his wife returned within a few days, probably his diabetic status was not that much high and he was able to understand his mistake soon.. But not everybody would be that much lucky... Not everybody gets the scope even to repent !!!

You know... Life is never a smooth ride... During some of those stages, we even have the feelings to opt for some drastic steps... But does that help in any way? No.. Not at all... We may live our lives in our own way as we are pleased, but actually our lives are not only ours... There are so many people whose happiness is directly or indirectly related to our lives... At least we don't have the right to make them suffer... And.... the sooner we understand, the better !!!

Papa's little girl.. !!

That day at around 11 pm I went to a ward at GMCH to manage the complaints faced by a patient. As I was returning, one cute scene touched me to the core of my heart...

It was a male ward.. At that time all other patients were sleeping... In the next bed of the patient whom I examined, there was a male patient of around 40 yrs... With him on the same bed, there was a little girl, probably his daughter... It was a chilly night... All other patients were comfortably using blankets... But in this particular case, the scene was different. That man used a blanket to cover his daughter. The little one was confidently sleeping and her father was lovingly holding her even in his sleep... Evidently, for him, his daughter's comfort was his first priority... I mean, you would have surely get confused who the actual patient was... Before leaving the ward, I checked his records... He was awaiting some elective surgery...

You know, this little encounter with the primary parent-child bonding made me realise once again the huge sacrifices made by our parents in bringing us up... And in return what are their expectations? They expect nothing, but our comfort and happiness..!!

Unwelcome attitude !!!

That day my mother called me,

"Baba, yesterday Pranab (name changed) came here... I prepared bread sabji for him... It was really pleasant to notice that he ate all the items so nicely... But at the end I felt like crying... "

She paused for a moment... Probably her emotions overpowered her speech...

"What happened maa?"

She replied,

"He said... 'Baidew, basan khini bhaldore dhui thobo dei... Moi bemari manuh je...'!!!"
[Madam, please wash the utensils properly... You know... I am a diseased person !!"]

I felt really sorry for Pranab da... He is suffering from some chronic diseases for which he is undergoing treatment for last 1 year... Till few days back he was actually bed ridden... His disease is not at all contagious, I mean non infectious... Yet from his expression it became apparent that someone's intentional/unintentional activity had hurt him deeply...

As we all know, there are always some individuals who doesn't care about other's feelings and gossip about anything anywhere... If you are that much concerned about getting a disease from a patient, its well and good... Not an offence at all... Take the precautions... But at least try to act human !!! A chronic patient already suffers a lot... No need to increase it even more by your unwelcome attitude and gesture...

Hope soon we all will realize to behave as sensible as possible to an ill person... Anyway, nobody has the right to make a patient feel to be the burden of the family or the society !!!

Responsibility !!!

Today I met a boy of around 20 yrs at the blood bank.. He came to donate blood for somebody... As part of the routine procedure, when I asked him about his relationship with the patient, he paused for sometime and then replied with hesitation,

"He is my father sir..."

I was somewhat confused.. To be true, I didn't see any reason to be hesitant to divulge the fact that the young boy was indeed donating for his own father... Yet suppressing my confusion, I asked him with a smiling face,

"You are donating blood for the first time... Are you tensed?"

He replied,

"Not at all sir... Actually my father left me and my mother when I was too young to understand anything and married somebody else... He was not at all concerned about the emotional and financial turmoil we two went through... Even after having a 'living' father, my mother was forced to bring me up single handedly... Sorry sir, I can't help, but quite often I hesitate to call him my father... He shouldn't have done this to me... Now he is ill and his other kids are too young... So it's my responsibility to take care of him... Whatever happened is just the past... After all he is my father!!!"

I felt sorry for the boy to hear all these... But then after a moment I was delighted to observe the maturity shown by that boy...

You know... That father totally failed to set an example to carry on responsibility, but his son succeeded...

I hope, his father gets well soon and realize what he missed in all these years and more importantly, hope he also learns what actually responsibility stands for!!

3 cute interactions...

1) Privileged:

                              That day in the evening, I had just finished examining one patient at my private clinic. After he left, I was arranging my instruments while somebody forcefully opened the door without a knock. I looked at the direction... There she was.. The 3 yrs old daughter of one of our employee, with the cutest smile and an adorable expression on her face...

She said, "Tumak manat nerakhilu!!"     {"I didn't remember you !!"}

Though she expressed in the negative, it implied that she actually remembered me... You know, even the kids know it well that their presence and importance make us feel privileged....



2) Education:

                              Day before yesterday in the evening, I was having dinner at a hotel in Guwahati after my chamber when one of my senior colleague called me. Actually his 5yrs old son was having congestion of left eye.. The kid was not having much complaints, but yet he wanted to be sure for which he was willing to consult me...

They reached the hotel itself as their house was nearby... I didn't have any other instrument with me at that moment, so examined his eyes using a  torchlight and advised accordingly...

I was talking to the father and the child said,

"Uncle, apunak eta kotha koune?" {"Uncle, may I say you something?"}

I nodded in the affirmative...

He continued, "Asalate uncle, manuhor sakut torch maribo napaai !!!".   {"Actually uncle, you should never throw light into anyone's eyes !!!"}

You know... It was a great feeling to observe that this little boy had remembered something 'good' taught by his parents (or somebody else)... It was even better to notice that he didn't fail to make his elder learn the same good thing in a polite way... Anyway, education begins at home...

Being an Eye surgeon, I had to use the torchlight at that moment, but I didn't want to confuse him any more... I smiled, lightly pecked his both cheeks and said, "Thank you !!"



3) Achievement :

                              Few months back, my 4yrs old niece Riyamanu said to me, "Doctor dada, janane? Moi nije bathroom jabo para holu !!!"      {"Doctor dada, are you aware? I can go to the bathroom alone!!"}

Even after that day, I have occasionally noticed somebody (including me) helping her using the bathroom... But when she happily expressed her feelings to me, it appeared to be a great achievement for her, which indeed was...

You see, we always run after success to be happy and in the process, we quite often fail to observe the minute "happy" things happening around us, which could actually provide us at least some pleasure...

Most of us probably don't remember when our 'toilet training' started... This is just a single example... But in a broader sense, if we can observe ourselves closely, may be we would feel like even more "achiever" !!

Age and diplomacy!!!

Look at the picture... With my nephew Diptakhya... Observe the contrast between the two, and you will have the same smile that both of us are displaying... :-)

Ok, coming to the point... That day we had a family gathering. One of my brother in law was surfing through the pictures in my handset.. As he was looking at this picture, something clicked my mind. I asked him,

"Dada, wait a minute!! Look, how much fairer I am as compared to Diptakhya... What do you say?"

Though I asked him humorously in a funny way, he took the question seriously... He answered,

"Actually Partha, as a guy, your facial complexion is good enough... Anyway dark colour suits the boys most.."

I just smiled.. I took the handset and asked the same question to one auntie, who was sitting beside me...

She looked at the photograph for quite a sometime and then replied,

"Actually Partha, u see, the complexion of Diptakhya's chest is different from that of his face... And you are behind him in the picture... That may be one reason for the contrast or else, I think, there may be a problem with the flash of the camera..."

My smile increased even more... May be it's true that diplomacy is proportional to one's age...

Then I asked the same question to one niece who is studying in 7th standard. She didn't say a word, just displayed a shy smile... Ok, may be she is in the process of developing diplomacy...

At last I called one niece, studying in 2nd standard, who was playing something nearby..

"Rimli, come here... "

I showed her the photograph and asked her, "Who is fairer?"

You know, without wasting time even for a moment she replied, "Diptakhya." and ran to continue her play...

I mean... No diplomacy at all... :-):-)

If everything goes well !!!

a) That day I was returning from my hometown Morigaon to Guwahati. I was riding my bike and the distance that I had to travel was about 80 kms. Most of my family members don't like me to travel this much distance using a bike, yet sometimes I have to... Ok, coming to the point... As you may assume, its really difficult to receive calls while you are riding a bike and it's time consuming if you just stop the bike everytime you receive a call... Accidents do happen, but I am not that kind of guy to invite accidents by talking to mobile phones while riding a bike myself... Hence before starting my journey, I informed my senior who was on duty at my workplace and whom I was supposed to relieve after I reach..

"Sumita baa, I am about to start... If everything goes well, I'll reach within 2 hrs..."

You know...  After I disconnected the call, it came to my mind, for what this "if everything goes well" actually stands for? I smiled at myself... As I was riding a bike, if I have to reach in time, there should be no rain... Anyway the weather was somewhat cloudy... There shouldn't be any technical or mechanical problem in my bike... I should remain physically and mentally fit for those 2 hours and above all I should not meet any accident!! At the end everything went well and I reached my destination in time...



b) Last year one fine day I incidentally met one of my junior after so many months... He was about to appear for his Final MBBS examinations.. I had a pleasant feeling thinking that one 18 yrs old young boy whom I first met on his very first day in our medical college was about to become a doctor.. But as I expressed my feelings, only a tense smile appeared on his face ...

"Thank you Partha da, but you already know, it'll depend, provided everything goes well !!!"

I smiled back...

Yeah, he was right.. Even if we consider only the academic aspects leaving aside all other factors like his health or family related issues etc, then also he would have to be allowed to appear in all four subjects and then he would have to do well in his exams!!! Anyway everything went well and after around 3 months he became a doctor...



c) It was the month of January, 2013... I went to one uncle's place to invite him to my marriage. For last 1 year he was having some diseases for which he had to hospitalize for a no. of times. He was a too caring person.. He was not from my family, yet he called me "Bacha"!!

"Bacha, it's indeed a great news that you are getting married... If everything goes well, I'll never miss your marriage... Ok, March 4th.. I'll mark the date on my calendar right now!!"

You know, everything didn't go well with that uncle... Just 15 days before my marriage he left us for his heavenly abode... He couldn't attend my marriage!!!

Bleeding Heart!!!

Few days back I met a guy of around 50 years of age who was there to donate blood...During the routine screening procedure I came to know that he had already donated for 24 times..

"I started donating since 1991 after my mother passed away..."

"Okay..."

".........."

He became somewhat emotional... I was waiting for him to continue... He tried to say something, but his words failed to come out of his lips... He paused for a moment and took a deep breath... There was noticeable colour change in his fair face  and unexpectedly all of a sudden he started crying !!!

I was never prepared to face such a situation, at least not at that moment..

"Hey... Please... Please don't cry !!!"

Yes, he tried to suppress his feelings... He focussed at some distant objects through the window panel... After a moment he removed his glasses, took out a handkerchief from his pocket and started to narrate his story in his broken voice while wiping his tears...

"Sorry sir... Actually my father passed away when I was too young... I can't even recall his face... My mother brought me up well despite facing lots of difficulties. In 1991, she met an accident and she was having active bleeding... Her condition became too critical till we could reach the hospital . The treating doctors informed that she might need several units of blood. I myself donated one unit... I approached many of my friends and relatives, but you see, all were having their own excuses... Before I was able to manage any more units, I was delivered the news... She was no more!! "

He cleared his throat and continued...

"After that, I made a promise to myself and thus I am donating... Had somebody come forward at my hours of need, I feel, my mother would have lived longer!!! "

You know... This experience was one of its rarest kind for me. He was the one and only elderly person I had ever met in my entire lifetime who cried for his mother even so many years after her demise...

I placed my hand over his shoulder... He looked at me and tried to smile, but that smile was strong enough to penetrate anyone's core...

Neither I will try to give any medical analysis, justification or reasoning for his labile emotions nor I am going to discuss about his praiseworthy contributions to the society  in the form of blood donation.. Rather I would like to  through the light in another direction... His reaction was a clear outburst of his aching heart, but it made me realize this eternal truth once again that no matter how old you are, no one else can ever take the place of a mother!!!

Heart-to-heart interactions !!!

a) That day I had to go to my rented house at Guwahati during the day time during my duty hours. Somehow I forgot to bring some necessary documents and thus after managing some replacement I went to collect the same. Being a holiday, the kid from my immediate neighbourhood, who studies in 5th standard, was playing alone in their verandah.. I had met him for a few times till then and everytime we had a short interaction. As soon as he came to know of my presence, he wished me...

"Hi uncle, how are you?"

"I am fine Baba.. Thank you.. How are you?"

"I am also fine... How is auntie? Is she still in Moradabad?"

Can you imagine? He has never met his "auntie".. I was not even sure if he knows anything about me. To be true, a few days before my marriage, once his father came to my house to show me some investigation reports and that day only during the casual talk we came to know about each other's families to some extent.. And on that fine day, the little kid courageously enquired me about the well being of my wife and his "unknown auntie"... It was for sure that he had learnt all these informations from his father, but when a little child of his age knows to show this much concern, inevitably he becomes close to my heart and this is one aspect of education starting at home and school that we should talk and learn about !!!

b) Another day one morning I was coming from my home to the bus stoppage at Morigaon. I was about to return to Guwahati... I catched one tempo (one kind of medium sized vehicle used for public transport)... The route is of 2.3 kms and they charge Rs. 5/- for the ride. One little girl of around 10-11 yrs of age, dressed in her school uniform was sitting next to me. After sometime I took a 5 rupees coin out of my pocket and called the conductor, but the girl said to me,

"Uncle, please give it to me..."

I couldn't understand anything, but the way she forwarded her palm towards me, I just handed over the coin to her...

She then said to the conductor, "Dada, I've kept this coin from this uncle."

Only then it came to my mind.. The conductor had to return her 5 rupees and thus the calculation was over....

She then looked at me with one of those cutest smiles and said,

"Thank you uncle..."

I smiled back...

You know, such a politeness from such a young child is too precious to perceive... In other words the beautiful smile of this unknown child simply made my day !!!

Death: an inevitable unbearable art!!!

[[##(Confession: I am not sure whether I should update this or not... It's my humble tribute to one of my patient cum friend.. I know, after going through this, you would surely feel sympathy towards the child that I am going to mention about... But pityness would be an entirely different issue and it would be against the interest of the child.. Hence Unlike my previous posts, some of the facts are modified in this update to maintain privacy. But the incidents are presented as they happened in reality. And for your information, she is now doing fine under the warm guardianship of some near relatives.)##]]

Few months back, one evening I was at my hometown Morigaon when one of my close friends (a doctor) called me,

"Partha, sorry to convey you a message, but you know, that kid's father expired.. As you are so close to them, I thought you should be informed.."

It didn't take me even a moment to guess whom my friend was referring to... She is a cute little girl, around 9 yrs old... Her mother expired long back... She is a distant relative of my friend and her father was one of my patients... Although there was a huge age difference, somehow her father became a good friend of mine and thus I have met her for several times in last 2 yrs and in the meantime I became her loving doctor uncle... She is too fond of me.. On many occasions they came to my clinic on her insistance just to say me "Hi"... Only 2 days back he was admitted at a hospital and that evening I got that tragic news.. Frankly speaking, I was too sad to hear about the happenings, but I became even more concerned about her future...

Next morning I went to meet the child. She was sitting on a mattress outside her house... There were many persons there at that moment... She didn't notice me at first... She appeared so calm and quiet... Her vacant vision was focussed at something which was unknown to me.. Probably she was thinking about all the good times that she spent with her father... Or  it might also happen that her mind was  totally blank at that moment... Only god knows how much pain a little heart of that age can tolerate!!!

I paused for a moment... I couldn't gather the courage to call her and bring her back to reality.. I went inside, took a seat on a sofa and then became even more confused how to approach the child... At last after sometime I called her,

"Maa..."

The kid who was so calm and quiet till few moments back, who was trying her best to control her emotions, just broke down after seeing me... Tear started flowing her eyes... She said weeping,

"My papa left me uncle !!!"

I wasn't sure how to react... My heart became heavy enough to think about anything else... I lifted her, made her sit  on my lap, touched her cheeks, wiped the tears and said,

"Don't cry Maa, everything will be alright..."

You know, being a physician, I have witnessed several deaths till now.  But this one was totally different for me... To be true, I never had to console a child who just became an orphan from the lovely princess of her father... I know that she would be taken care of properly by her near relatives... But has anybody seen the future??

Somebody said that death is also an art, but I would rather say that its an inevitable unbearable art !!!

Memories: A husband's concern!!!

Year: 2005... I can't remember the date or month... I was doing my internship at that time after passing out my MBBS course... It was my posting in the Dept. of Obstetrics & Gynaecology for 2 months... That day I was having my Labour Room duty... After the delivery of a baby, my senior (a Post Graduate student) asked me to convey the good news to the attendants who were eagerly waiting outside.. It was a normal delivery without any complications and both the mother and the baby were doing well... I went to the door and called the name of the mother. One well dressed guy of around 30 yrs came forward... From the concern that was clearly visible on his face, it could be easily presumed that he was a very near relative... I am not saying that when somebody cares, his/her concern is always displayed on the face everytime.. In my professional and personal life I have met quite a no. of people who can well suppress their feelings and can remain stable even during the worst moments of their lives... But in this particular case, that person's concern was totally visible through his eyes and the face. So without making him to wait any more, I conveyed him the news...

"Congratulations, its a baby boy!!!"

"Thank you sir... Thanks a lot, but how is my wife?"

"Oh... Don't worry... She is fine... Anyway, do you want to see the baby?"

"No, thank you Sir, I would like to see both the mother and the baby together...!!"

I was blessed to witness the real love of a husband... And I informed the same to the wife also...

"Your husband cares for you a lot... He wanted to see you first, not the baby!!"

You know, I feel short of words to describe the shy vivid smile of satisfaction that appeared in the lips of that lady... May be that being an unknown person to both of them, I somehow helped to develop the bond of love between the two even more stronger!!!

Prior to that very incident and even after that, I have conveyed this type of news for countless times till now... Whether its a boy or a girl, most of the times (leaving aside some of the cases of delivery of a baby girl which I have already discussed in one of my previous updates!) I have witnessed the rapid spread of the abruptly appearing smiles of  happiness amongst the family members... But I am sorry to say that except that particular husband, I have never met any other person in my life, not even within my family, who is that much prompt to enquire about the very person for whom they were able to hear the good news... Even if for some moments, everytime there is a time lag to question about the mother's well being... To be true, personally I have never met anyone else who could suppress their feelings to see the newborn baby till the mother is brought out of the labour room...

You see, when a lady gets pregnant, the whole family waits for around 9 months to welcome a new member to the family... So at last when the clock ticks and the wait is over, its quite natural to celebrate that moment and forget about everything else... But actually  it has been never a "good feeling" to see even the husbands to forget about their wives at that very moment.. But nobody is to blame... If you are a husband or anyone who has the experience of waiting outside a labour room even for once, then you would be the right person to question yourself and you will get the proper answer... Who knows, if everything goes well and if one fine day my wife also gets pregnant, even I might fail during that very significant test of my life...

That husband was able to make a memorable deep impression within the core of my heart which I quite often rejoice and it makes me believe that real love actually exists!! His wife didn't have any complications, but even if somehow something untoward happened to his wife, I am sure that he was not that type of guy to deprive the baby of a father's love and care...

I know, I would never be able to recognize that husband even if I meet him someday... Thus by this update, I would like to thank him for setting up an fine example for me and everybody.. Wherever he is, I hope he is having a happy family with his loving wife... May the almighty bless them all !!!

Totally wrong first impressions !!!

That day I was returning from Accoland, Guwahati with three of my nephews and nieces... As I crossed the Maligaon overbridge (Guwahati), I noticed something unusual... Actually that day it was too hot... There was a car in front of mine, a red coloured WagonR, of which all the windows were tightly shut and somebody was using a hand held fan made of bamboo... I felt it somewhat funny... All the windows were shut and that they had to use a hand held fan means their AC was not functioning properly... If they were feeling that much heat, they could simply open their windows... Anyway there was neither any dust nor any foul smell at that place!!!

I was about to have my final funny opinion about those people... But suddenly I noticed one head raising for a moment near their rear window on the left side of the seat.. And you know...  My opinion totally changed all of a sudden... Actually some ill person was there inside that car... The lady in the middle of the  rear seat, who was using the hand held fan was doing the same not for her own comfort, but for the comfort of the ill one... Probably they were on their way to a hospital... You can easily presume the emotional turmoil the said lady was going through, who was trying to cool off her dear one using a fan inside a car even after the AC was on...

After some time I lost track of the car in the heavy traffic... But I really felt sorry for drawing a funny remark on somebody who was actually in great tension!!!

You know... This is just a simple single example of the whole lot of mistakes we make in our entire life... Sometimes we are in a too hurry to draw an impression... Sometimes we just fail to understand others...Occasionally we are able to overcome these first impressions, but most of the times we just fail... Sometimes just because of these wrong impressions some relationships come to an end even before the start... Sometimes someone is even forced to suffer a hell lot of pain... 

During my professional and also in my personal life,  I have so many alike experiences... Sometimes at first I misjudge a person (by his appearance) to be too arrogant until I start talking...

Few weeks back, I witnessed a news on TV where some outsider young boys were beaten black and blue by an angry mob in a village...  They were suspected (baselessly?) to be involved in some illegal unsocial activities... Their physical appearance acted against themselves to increase the anger of the enraged people... They had tattoes, long hair, unconventional beards and all... No doubt, I never support those people who take laws into their own hands... This is a different topic and will be discussed elsewhere.. But you know what... I have personally met a number of such young boys who are actually much more humble and polite than most of our so called gently dressed people...

Around one month back I met a cute couple at my clinic...  You can invariably use all those terms like "Made for each other" etc for this pair..  I was highly impressed by their personality.. The way the husband expressed his concern about his wife, it didn't take me much time to realize his caring nature... The wife was having a black eye following some blunt trauma... I was examining her and he went outside for a moment to answer a phone call...

"Actually sir, he is the man... Frequently he use to heavily drink and then beat me up... "

I was stunned.. She couldn't continue any longer as her husband came inside within a moment. I couldn't even decide what to say or how to act on that sudden unexpected realization... But I didn't miss the silent request  in the eyes of that young lady to keep myself quiet...

Somebody rightly said that first impression is not always the last impression... To be true, it can actually be multilayered!!!

An apology to all those parents !!

On Thursday night my younger sister called me. Actually my 1 year 10 months old nephew was having some health related issues for which their consulting Pediatrician had advised him an MRI examination... Most probably he is having some minor problems, but thinking about the differential diagnosis (probable various conditions/diseases that may result in the said health related problems) and about all the possible consequences, they had become somewhat tense. My sister is also a doctor, but invariably in most of the cases a mother is just a mother to a child, her professional knowledge doesn't work much. Anyway even if it could be a minor surgery, there is every possibility that he might have to undergo one in not too distant future.. I am almost sure that it would be a 'very' minor surgery, but he is not even 2 years old.. Being so young, he would have to undergo the operation under general anaesthesia, i.e. he would be kept unconscious by anaesthetic medications during the procedure...

These days the medical field has developed a lot and provided everything remains systematic and technically correct, he won't have any untoward effect from this simple  operation... Yet an operation is an operation...

So on Friday, after I attended my duties at my workplace and then after I finished my evening chamber, I went to my sister's place... We had to discuss about the further treatment protocol...

Till I was at my clinics, I was busy with my patients and to be true I didn't feel much for my nephew... But as I was on my way to meet him, unknowingly I became somewhat emotional... I know, he has a minor problem and soon he would be absolutely fine, yet I could not resist myself and went to a shop and bought a teddy bear for him. Usually I take one or two small Cadbury chocolates for him and sometimes even I meet him without any gift... But that day at that moment I felt like a chocolate is too less for him and a teddy would be something better... By doing such, I was actually trying to see him even more happier...

So after paying for the same I once again started my car and headed towards my nephew's place... Then all of a sudden one agonizing feeling disturbed me from the core of my heart....

When I was doing my internship in GMCH specially in Pediatrics department and later during my life as a junior resident in the Dept. of Pediatrics in Tripura Medical College, I met quite a number of financially poor parents.. Quite often some of them asked me naming some of the expensive foods, whether they can provide those to their ailing kids... Sometimes I allowed, sometimes I denied owing to the kid's health condition... Sometimes I even answered roughly, "These expensive things are unnecessary for now... Rather spend your money on the medications prescribed and on a healthy diet!!!" What even if I answered like that keeping in view of their financial status, that they might face short of money to buy essential medications once they spend on those expensive products, yet I feel sorry for them today....

On routine basis their monthly income doesn't permit them to provide fruits and other expensive nutritious diets to their kids. But once they fall ill, all parents become even more concerned... They try to provide them the happiness they desire, what if it causes a hole in their pockets... Simply they try to make their kids even more happier during their illness like I was trying the same with my nephew...

Once I reached my destination, my nephew came running to me with the cutest smile on his face calling me "Mama.. Mama"...

I smiled at him, called him "Ghotu..", lifted him up and kissed his both cheeks with the utmost affection...

Later after I had my tea, when I described my aforementioned feelings to my younger sister, she replied,

"You know Baba, your these feelings will increase even more once you become a father!!!!"

I was just speechless.... Thus by this update, I want to say sorry to all those parents whose emotions I somehow failed to understand!!!

Independence day and the terrorists !!!

My mother has come to Guwahati day before yesterday. According to her schedule, she stayed for one night at my place, then for 2 nights she will stay at my younger sister's place and then in the early hours of 16th of August, she will again leave for my hometown Morigaon to resume her duties. Accordingly yesterday after my duty was over, I dropped her at my younger sister's place at Bharalu. After that I was returning to my rented house at Ulubari. It was already evening and while I was crossing the busy Paltan Bazar area driving my car, incidentally this thought came to my mind...

"What if now a bomb blasts near me and I just become a past!!!"

It was 14th August... As usual some "BANDHs" have been called by some organizations on 15th of August, i.e. on our Independence Day... Already high alert has been declared by the govt and the security has also been seemingly increased than before keeping in view of some terrorist activity...

You know.... Its very easy for these terrorists to end the life of a common man like me... Its very easy for them to stealthily place a bomb anywhere and then to have a blast and take lives to increase(?) their importance and to display their power!!! But you know what? If you are really strong enough, you should have the courage to fight from the front... These kinds of cowardice acts like bomb blasts and all would not serve anything in the greater interest of the nation...

Few days back one of my friend said to me, "You know Partha, Mahatma Gandhi and other freedom fighters were also termed terrorists by the then Govt... Likewise those, whom we term terrorists now will also be called the saviour of our people in coming near future... Already you have some 'live' examples I suppose..."

I answered, "You know, our forefathers did fight against some foreigners... They had public support... But those acting now are fighting against their own people.. Ask for public voting and see if any of these so called organizations come forward... I think nobody amongst them have that moral courage... That's the difference !!!"

You call yourselves "freedom fighters"... You blame the govt of forcefully imposing everything on us... But answer me one question honestly... What are you people doing? By killing those innocents and creating an atmosphere of terror, you are also doing the same... You are also trying to forcefully implement your views upon us... The kids may not be aware of their well being's, but at least we, the adults, know it well what is good and what is bad for us... So if you need attention, its well and good... But try something else... Why make our lives terrible?

Whenever there are some news of some terrorist activity, whenever there are some news of loss of lives related to all these and in case happening near the places of my dear ones, my heart feels emptiness for sometime... One mightn't not feel it all the time or everyday, but nobody can be sure whether he/she would be able to return home safely... Even my mother, wife and sister call me sometimes immediately after such kinds of news items are being broadcast... They may not like to ask it directly, but by their action it becomes apparent that they want to hear my clear voice... It might sound heartening, but... Indirectly they try to know it for sure that their loving son/husband/brother is still alive!!!!

So yesterday when all of a sudden that feeling of becoming a "past" came to my mind, somehow I didn't feel any kind of fear for death... Instead one smile appeared on my face... I was driving my car.... And from deep inside my heart I was just cursing those terrorists... Anyway, thank you for making our lives miserable!!! Happy independence day...!!!!

When money speaks, the truth is silent!!!

That day I was busy doing something at my workplace when one of our staffs, employed on contractual basis, came to me and said,

"Sir, can't you do something regarding our salary? For last 5 yrs I am getting 5,000/- rupees per month... Only god knows how much trouble I have been through while  managing my family with that income at Guwahati!!!"

He knows it well that at my position I am not the right person to help him out... But probably he needed someone at that moment to express his agony and he incidentally told me all these.. But to be true, its tough to believe that he is running his entire family with that little income, that too at a city like Guwahati... But that's the reality and he is already doing that...

Then again last Saturday when I was going to my hometown Morigaon, I boarded one traveller. Its a medium sized vehicle with a seating capacity of around 20 persons... After sometime when I felt somewhat drowsy, I felt something hitting at my thigh.. You know, it was the head of the handyman... He was sitting at the empty space on the floor beside my seat... He was sleepy and time to time his head hit my thigh... I didn't try to wake him up... Surely he started his work in the early morning... Probably this is the only way to get rid of his tiredness to some extent.... And at the end of the day, what will he get? He will be paid hardly Rupees 200/- or something like that... Provided somehow its a "bandh" or somehow he falls ill, his income for the day will be zero.. It can be easily assumed that he earns not more than rupees 5,000/- per month.. Yet without complaining anything he is cheerfully doing his job..

These are some harsh realities which we encounter everyday.. Someone doesn't get satisfied even after earning lakhs of rupees per month.. And someone is running an entire family at an income, which is equivalent to the cost of a rich guy's one single jeans pant !!!

I don't know what I am up to...

You know, you can never compare one's income with another one. Based on the social status and all other factors, everyone's expenditure is different... But in a broader sense, whatever may be the income, some expenses are the same.. As for example, in case of illness, when you really need some costly medical manoeuvre for your well being, you may hope to get well soon only if you can pay for it.... Otherwise you are free to count your time !!!

Money speaks sense... And when money speaks, the truth is silent !!!

It's a boy..!!!

Few days back I met a guy of around 30 yrs. He came to our blood bank to donate blood.

"Actually sir, my wife is admitted here. She had to undergo caesarean section for delivery..... One unit of blood was provided from here on loan basis and thus I've come to replace the blood loan"

"How is your wife now?"

"She is doing well Sir..."

"What about the baby?"

"Its a 'boy' Sir..!!!"

The way he presented the news, I could well presume his happiness... Anyway the joy of becoming a parent can't be expressed in words... But the amount of importance he put on the word 'boy' just clicked me... So instead of congratulating him, I asked him,

"Okay, what was his birth weight?"

"It was 2.6 kg sir..."

"That's great... Exclusively breastfeed the baby till his 6th completed months and he will be more than fine..."

You know, when I was a teenager, I used to feel good when I received the news of a newborn baby boy amongst our relatives... It was the effect of my surroundings I suppose... Then as I grew somewhat elder, I used to congratulate the parents with extra care when there was the news of a newborn baby boy... Because its a 'boy'.... After I joined my MBBS course and after I became even more matured, whenever I heard such a news, I used to say, "Oh.. Its a boy... Congratulations, your family might be even more happier..." That means I used to congratulate them minus my happiness...

This continued till around 2 years back when I realized something... Congratulating solely on the birth of a baby, no matter whether it's a boy or a girl, is entirely an another issue, but when we congratulate someone with special reference to the birth of a baby 'boy', we  actually indirectly display our preference to have a son... We indirectly encourage others to enhance the wrong notion, "A son is of more use than a daughter." We indirectly  say that boys are better than girls... Even worse, without being in our mind, we unknowingly advocate female foeticide!!!

Even our new generation has not been able to stop this discrimination against women.. Everyday there are lots of news related to female abuse and all.. A number of awareness programmes are going on to save the girl child and some of them are doing well.. Ok these programmes will take their own course.. But until and unless we try something at our personal level and unless we change our mindsets, the effects won't last long... Until a day comes when all mother and father in laws stop blaming their daughter in laws after repeatedly giving birth to girls and until all parents can become happy even after parenting 2 girls, these will just continue...

So, starting few months back, I have personally initiated this small step... No doubt,  whenever someone conveys me a good news, it would be inhuman on my part if somehow I make them feel bad... So on getting such a news when the family members become too 'overwhelmed' on the birth of a 'boy', most of the times I just smile and say, "I would have liked even more if it was a baby girl...  Anyway congratulations !!!"

I want Partha's land, won't you support???

Few days back my parents went to my younger brother's place (Jorhat, Assam). As summer vacation was going on, they stayed with him for around 15 days and returned before my mother's school reopened. Most of you may not know that I come to my hometown Morigaon for 3 evenings in each week for my private practice after finishing my duty at my workplace GMCH. During those days when my parents were absent, I didn't have to worry about anything at my hometown, I mean regarding food etc.... Most of my neighbours and relatives were actually concerned about me even more than myself or my parents.. Each night I had dinner invitations in one of my neighbours' or relatives' place... One particular neighbour regularly woke me up at 6.30 am so that I wouldn't miss my duty at Guwahati from 10 am. Even sometimes some of my neighbours dropped me at the bus stoppage in that early hours.

I am telling all these to let you know how helpful my neighbours are... But if I want, I can easily create some unwanted scenes or quarrels with my so friendly neighbours which won't even need much effort... But to maintain our relationships as on today, we need to be careful enough... Just because of these neighbours our whole family can leave the house even for weeks without having to worry about other care takers... We are having a great time together, but if somehow we have to deal with all those daily obstacles singlehandedly, we will face much trouble... This is true in a bigger sense actually.

After the Telengana issue, there are demands from many segments regarding formation of so many new states in Assam. Assam has been divided thrice since Independence with Nagaland carved out in 1963, Meghalaya with the passing of North Eastern (Reorganisation Areas) Act in 1971 and Mizoram, which first became a Union Territory in 1971 and was later made a state in 1985.

You know... Most of us fail to understand some bitter facts.. Politics is too complex and cruel to be understood by us, the general public... For the sake of argument lets suppose some new states are formed... But will that be peaceful? No... There will be lots of violence and blood shedding of the general public... After all those, who will be benefitted? Only some of the leaders and the opportunists... The lives of the common man eventually will remain the same... Nobody to complain!!! Anyway the memory of our people are too short... Within no time we will forget everything and once again after a few years we will be able to raise our demands for a newer state or even a new country!!!

It doesn't matter whether my points touches anyone or not... I am a citizen of independent India, thus I have the full rights to express my healthy views... So today, I won't hesitate to declare it publicly that I can never support the idea of "Independent Assam" as proposed by ULFA, and likewise I won't like to see Assam to divide any more... I am an Indian Assamese and would like to remain the same for ever..!!!

Charity or Showoff???

That day one of my close friend said to me, "Partha, it seems you like to show off a lot !!!"

I asked him, "Why?"

He said, "You never upload when you do something wrong... But whenever you do something good, you let know the whole world by updating a blog on Facebook... Even you never miss to upload a photograph when u donate blood... It's good that u try to help others by your small steps, but what I think is that charity should be silent !!!"

I smiled and answered diplomatically, "Actually (my friend), it depends how you accept certain things..!! and at my level, uploading my wrong doings might not serve any purpose..."

He didn't say anything else... Anyway, only a good friend can criticize you in this way...

Coming to my viewpoint, I personally strongly believe that charity 'looks' better if it is done silently, but it 'works' better if you can motivate others to do the same!!! And today I am going to cite you two examples related to my Facebook updates...

EXAMPLE NO. 1:

That day one of my junior called me.. He has recently joined as a Senior Resident in AIIMS, New Delhi after completing his Post Graduation from GMCH, Guwahati. He was here at Guwahati for a few days to complete some of the official formalities. He wanted to donate blood.

He said, " Partha da, I've already donated blood for three times till now... But your updates and photographs increased my desire even more... Thought it would be good to donate once again before I leave Assam..."

Later I noticed him uploading his photograph of blood donation on Facebook... I think his photograph with his bright smile rightfully expressed his pleasure and it'll influence at least some of his friends to come forward to do the same !!!

EXAMPLE NO. 2:

Today at around 12.15 pm one of my junior Prachyajyoti Bora came to meet me. He had noticed one mentally challenged old lady lying near GMCH in a too critical condition.. The human being inside this young boy felt the strong urge to help the poor lady..

What he said just filled my heart...

"Actually Partha da, recently I had read your update titled "I am a disco dancer" and thus it came to my mind that you would be the right person to approach..."

And you know what... With the help of some of his friends like Dipangkar Das and others and our medical college authority, that lady was later admitted at our institute. Now the lady will get the proper medical attention she deserves. In the meantime I am going to seek help of some NGOs if they can somehow take her responsibility.. Otherwise once discharged, she will again return to the same unhygienic condition....

Well done Prachya and friends... We all are proud of you...

We all need each other...

Months back I had updated a status titled, "Humanity lost: Lady's seat...", in which I described an incident where a husband forced a very weak old man, who was occupying a lady's seat to leave his seat to his wife... Probably some of my friends still remember it...

Now let me describe you another experience...

That day I was once again coming from Bhangagarh to Khanapara, Guwahati in a city bus after finishing my duty at GMCH.. Actually I had to come to my hometown Morigaon... Ok, the city bus was not at all crowded... I was in the last row of seats and leaving aside some of the lady's seats, all other seats were occupied... In the next stoppage one old man got into the bus and he directly stood in front of me... He could have taken a vacant seat meant for the ladies, but he was just reluctant to do so.. May be he already had some bitter experiences... Ok, in the next stoppage the seats were filled up and the bus became somewhat crowded...

I said to the old man, "Uncle, you may sit here!" and left my seat...

Next came the problem... My bag was somewhat heavy and I faced trouble in the crowded bus to manage it...

I politely asked that old man, "Uncle, can you kindly hold my bag for sometime on your lap?"

You see... He was sitting in the seat which I was actually occupying, but he flatly denied to hold my bag even for a moment saying, "I am sorry, but I don't know what is in your bag..!!!"

Before I could think about anything, the young boy next to him gladly took my bag with a bright smile and thus he saved me from the feeling of embarrassment...

Somebody rightly said... Most of times the very  aged people once again become a child... No means no, and yes means absolutely yes... :-):-):-) 

Till now I have learnt countless things from my juniors... From this incident I once again learnt this very important thing in life... You know,  age is never a hinder... Even a younger can make us learn a lot simply by his/her action... This young boy, whom I even didn't notice made my moment...

Mark Caine said that any man to whom you can do a favor is your friend, and that you can do a favor to almost anyone..... And I strongly believe that.... Anyway we all need each other.....

I am a disco dancer..!!!

Today I had morning duty at Blood Bank, GMCH. As I was about to leave from my rented house, I saw one lady around 100 metres apart... She was making some movements.. It appeared like she was dancing to the tunes of some music and that too by the side of a public road !! While I was crossing her, I slowed down my speed to some extent and watched her carefully taking utmost care not to embarrass her in any way... But she was totally indifferent to the surroundings...  She was herself singing the song "I am a disco dancer.." and was dancing to the same tunes... She would be around 40 yrs old.. She was well dressed and from her dresses it appeared like she belongs to a good family and from the prominent vermilion on her forehead I came to know that she is a married woman... Probably she belongs to some family in my neighbourhood as I have seen her a few times before... Even yesterday I had noticed her on the same place near Iskon Temple, Ulubari, Guwahati, singing the same song...

Frankly speaking, I didn't have the courage to approach her at that time on that empty road, moreover it won't serve any reason, but I have every hope that may be there will be someone who will be able to identify this lady by the slightest hint that I have mentioned in this post and thus will notify her family about her condition if they are not already aware of... I am also quite sure that if somebody knows her, then he/she will be careful enough not to reveal her identity here...

You know... Most of us have the hesitation to consult a Psychiatrist even for the most needed conditions of a family member... By acting this way, temporarily we may be "successful" to keep our so called "Family pride" intact, but on long course, knowingly or unknowingly we do huge injustice to our loved ones by denying the necessary medical attention they deserve.. Its really tragic that even in this century psychiatric problems are social stigmas... But do you know what I feel? Personally I feel, somebody might even need lifelong medications, yet like diabetes and hypertension, if someone gets proper treatment and consultation, he or she would be able to lead a normal productive life in most of the psychiatric conditions...

I don't know why, but I was deeply saddened by the scene that I witnessed and thus I am writing this post to convey one bitter truth... If she really has a caring family, she would get proper Psychiatric treatment and soon she would get back to normalcy ... Otherwise there is every possibility that there will be addition of another woman to the whole lot of numerous mentally imbalanced persons whom we quite often encounter roaming pathetically here and there..  Nothing more to say..!!!!

Another form of humanity...

That day I was talking to somebody while having a cup of tea at the veranda of a hotel. Meanwhile the sound of some dogs, which they usually make when they see somebody familiar, drew my attention. There was one middle aged Sister (Nurse) madam with a packet of biscuits in her hand and all the three dogs were looking at her displaying their loyalty by moving their tails in the same rhythm... She opened the packet, which is a big one actually, and started distributing amongst them... And the dogs too started eating the biscuits silently without making any noise... Those who have slightest experience with dogs would readily agree that even when we distribute some foods amongst our pet dogs, there is usually huge noise... But in this case, this madam worked magically... Probably this is her routine activity and thus she has successfully trained these stray dogs to share while taking food... Maybe these dogs  also could well understand that this madam won't let anyone deprive of their part... Everybody will get the due share of the biscuits.... :-):-)

It was an amazing scene to witness... I don't know her, but I have seen her before in GMCH and after  seeing her action that day, I had the intense urge to meet this lady. But when I looked around in search for her, she was out of the scene... Probably after finishing her this duty of humanity she once again became busy with her job responsibilities... 

You know... In this competitive world at the time when we don't get proper time to think beyond our family, this Nurse madam has set a fine example of humanity... Probably it's because of these kinds of people that the world is running smoothly... Hats off to you madam... We have so many things to learn from people like you...

Sati Saavitri .... (সতী সà��বিত্রী ।।)

This Sunday I watched a programme "Ji kom Socha kom" [I'll tell only the truth] @Assamese Channel DY365 anchored by Dr. Akashitora... The guest for the episode was one lady with two little kids whose husband has married for the second time, that too at a time when she was perfectly alive and staying with her husband without a divorce ...

First of all let me clarify something... I've not written this post to judge anybody... Their case is under trial and the law will take its own due course... What I am trying is to highlight some important points...

You see... That lady was wearing Sindur (vermilion) even after she was mercilessly rejected by her husband... What would you say? I just feel pity for the husband !!!Okay, I don't know anything about the reasons for the creation of distance and tension between the two, but I know one thing for sure that if the husband really needs to marry for the second time, they will have to legally separate beforehand...

And what to say about the kids!!! Both kids were present there beside their mother on the sets of the show... And about the little one, you won't have any other option than to adore her... She is around 3yrs old, and when she did sing a few lines of a song, I felt something heavier inside.... I don't understand how a father can leave aside such two kids for another woman... I know... Love is blind, but specifically in this situation this reasoning just lacks any positive aspect... Yet this lady tried to share her husband with an another woman keeping in view of the future of the kids, but somehow she just failed... Personally I can never blame her at least for her inability to cope with her husband's second wife... Really, its not that much easy !!!

Now coming to the society, according to that lady, most of the people from her locality blames her because she couldn't live with her husband's second wife... As informed you earlier, I once again say that I won't even try to judge whether she is speaking the whole or part truth... But personally as a physician, I have witnessed quite a no. of such cases in which the society tries to justify the husband's act eventually making the life of the wife even more complicated..

This is the high time for a change... The concept of "Sati Saavitri" should have been over by now... Such kind of husbands should also learn to be loyal to their wives... But to be true, in a society where a rapist gets the "PUNISHMENT" by some of the "local self proclaimed law makers" to marry the victim, I really don't see much hope for a change...!!!

A nice example..!!!

Today I was waiting at a traffic point for signal. There I noticed two aged persons with grey hairs in their 80's near my car... The lady was holding the gentleman's shoulder... The way they were interacting, it became apparent that most probably they are cousins and they have met each other after a long interval... And by the way in which the gentleman behaved, it was not difficult for me to assume that the lady was his elder cousin... I don't know for how long they were talking, but just before there was green signal at the traffic point, the gentleman touched the feet of the lady...

I was just overwhelmed... It won't be possible for me to know their identity in any way...  Can you imagine? The old man needed one walking stick for his support, yet he didn't fail to pay his sister her due respect.. And what to say about that old lady ... She just unknowingly openly displayed her care by placing her palm over his shoulder...

I am not saying that these are the only ways to show that you care... I am not saying that touching someone's feet is the only way to show that you respect somebody...  There are lots many and when you really care, by this or that way, it somehow gets expressed in most of the times... I have given emphasis on "most of the times", because we can never deny that there are so many people who without even saying or expressing anything just do their part....

You know, I felt honoured to witness such an incident.. And I really believe that indeed it may actually become a very  nice example of brother sister relationship.... In this time when most of us, the young generation have mostly become mechanical in our relationships, these kinds of examples certainly rejuvenate us and we can once again start believing that... Yes, there is still life in this world of concrete.. !!!

Breaking News... !!!

That day I was at my Hometown Morigaon.. We had some invitations and so me, papa and one uncle were going to receive Maa from her school... Papa was driving the car, uncle was occupying the front seat and I was on the rear.. Maa was waiting at a place near the main road on the right side of our way. As soon as papa stopped the car at the left side of the road, I absent mindedly opened the right side rear door for maa.. But papa was too prompt to warn me,

"Bacha, why have you opened the wrong door? Never do this again... I don't want to be the part of a so called BREAKING NEWS !!!"

I immediately obliged... Actually after the accident that happened 2 years back, in which our parked car was hit by a Tata Magic when maa was still inside, papa has become somewhat more conscious in this regard.. Our car was damaged very badly, but thankfully maa didn't suffer much physical injuries... And in this case papa was right. Okay, there maa was crossing the road, and it was not that much busy at that moment.. But you know, accidents do happen... You can't just predict... And if in case any unfortunate happens, we would surely become the part of a breaking news, at least in the Assamese medias...

In this context I think it would be relevant to quote some points from my Assamese article "DHIKKAR AAMAR MANASIKOTAK !!!" (SHAME ON OUR MENTALITY !!!) which was already published in our GMCH college magazine's latest edition...

"Today I am here with you... I am expressing my views... You are going through my writings... Some of you would agree to my points, some won't and some would be just indifferent to what I am up to... But if somehow tomorrow I just disappear from  this world, suppose victimized by some violent activities, then what will happen ? For most of the media houses I will become a news item... There will be condolence meeting of one minute in my institute Gauhati Medical College & Hospital... There will be demand for justice by various organizations... And after some days, leaving aside some faint memories, most probably most of you will just forget me... Those that will suffer the most will be my family and my close friends... Nobody else... Forget about justice, there is every chance that the culprits will roam free of any convictions... It might also happen that some of my friends might knowingly or unknowingly felicitate my murderers !!! "

This is it... We all are too busy (including me)... Until and unless something happens to our own, we don't have time even to think about the consequences... Leave it... This will just go on.. No point of trying to find the four corners of our own planet Earth while it's actually a globe !!!!

Boys don't cry !!!

Yesterday I met a guy... He had come to GMCH for his wife's treatment.... But by the very short interaction, he will remain in my memory lane for long, may be my whole life....

Actually I was screening some of the blood donors at that time when this guy came to meet me...

"Sir, l need two units of blood for my wife, her condition is serious... Can you kindly make it somewhat faster?"

Although he was trying his best to control himself, there was tears in his eyes... I checked the requisition form which he handed over to me... His wife was in shock... For those who find it difficult to understand, his wife was having uncontrollable bleeding and the doctors were finding it difficult to maintain her blood pressure...  I asked the other donors to wait  for sometime and proceeded towards the concerned section along with him... and as soon as I put my hand over his shoulder to console him saying, "Don't worry, everything will be fine... ", he just cried.... He was unable to control his emotions any more... and though I didn't show anything, it just put some unbearable pressure within the core of my heart...

He was provided the required units of blood in the least possible time and  today around 3 hours back this guy came to meet me to inform that his wife is out of danger now. To be true, his smile expressed everything even before he said anything...

I've come across lots of such kind of incidents till now, but when this man cried for his ailing wife, it was like.. Like something different...  You know, when a man cries for his woman, its really somewhat different !!!

Memories:: That old lady..

Today AHSEC Class-XII results were out and this somehow reminded me this very day of my life..

Evening hours, 6th June, 1999...

On that day me and my papa were returning from Kolkata to Guwahati by train after appearing for my BHU MBBS entrance examination (which I didn't qualify..:-))..

Next day i.e. on 7th June, 1999 my Class-XII results were about to declare.. From the morning hours of 7th June my tension for my result was gradually increasing. Those days papa didn't have a mobile connection.. Most probably at that time mobile connections were available only at Guwahati in Assam, nowhere else.. The train was already running late and due to some reasons it was stopped twice for several hours in the midst of some paddy fields.. In the stations where the train stopped for some time didn't have a public telephone booth.. I was somewhat restless.. You can easily guess my tension I suppose .. I tried in vain to relax myself by playing for sometime with the 2 little kids which were in the same coupe/cabin with their parents.. At last I thought it to be better to open some books as my Assam MBBS entrance exam was approaching in July 31.. But to be true that was also of no use.. Then this very old lady, a begger, entered our coup.. I had some money with me which papa provided in case I needed during the journey.. Usually I give one or two rupees to such persons and don't know why, but I handed over  that lady a ten rupees note.. She became too glad and then she left by saying, "Don't worry, your exams will be good.." Most probably by seeing some books with me she could presume about my exams and thats why she said like that.. But you know, I felt too blessed..

At around 12.30 am of 8th June, 1999 we reached Guwahati railway station.. After gathering all our luggage papa went to call Maa at our landline no.. After sometime he returned and delivered me the news.. I got star marks with letter marks (>80%) in 3 subjects, viz Physics, Chemistry and Biology.. I touched papa's feet and papa kissed me on my forehead with emotions.. But in the meantime I was suddenly involuntarily reminded of that old lady who blessed me..

I know, that was merely a coincidence, but deep inside my heart even today I can still feel her blessings...

The chocolate and the shopkeeper.. :-):-)

This Sunday I went to Hojai, Nagaon (Assam) to attend a blood donation camp which was scheduled on Monday.. At Jagiroad we stopped for a while to have some tea and there I met one of my school friend Pranjal Deka with his 2 yrs old daughter.. His wife is also my school friend, but at that moment she was inside a shop to buy something.. I took the baby to the nearby stationary shop and bought her a chocolate which she accepted with a too cute smile... After sometime her mother was back and the baby joyfully showed her the chocolate..

But you know.. When her mother asked who gave her the chocolate, the baby signalled towards the shopkeeper and we just couldn't stop laughing..

Wah baby wah.. I spent the money and the credit went to the shopkeeper... :-):-)

Maa

Yesterday afternoon I came to my hometown Morigaon. After reaching there, I directly went to the chamber where I recently started seeing patients.. At around 8 pm after I finished my work, Papa came to receive me. After I reached home, Maa became busy preparing the dinner.. I was talking to papa along with watching some programs at the TV.
During dinner Maa enquired, "Aren't you feeling well Baba?"

I replied with a smile that everything was fine.. She didn't ask me anything else, but in her expression it became apparent that she was not that much convinced..

You see, for last 3 days I am having some problems which I won't like to discuss with many.. During these 3 days, as usual I was attending my duties at GMCH, as usual I was attending my clinic at Guwahati, day before yesterday I attended one of my relative's place for dinner.. Even yesterday I updated one status at Facebook describing one funny incident with one of my patients.. And after reaching home yesterday, it was not Maa, but I was mainly talking to papa till dinner.. Starting from my friends, colleagues to relatives to papa, nobody noticed anything.. Nobody to blame.. Actually I tried my best to conceal some of the recent happenings.. But my Maa sensed it within seconds even if I didn't show anything.. Thats where a mother stands apart.. Love you Maa.. Hope I could get back my childhood days once again.. !!!

Percentage of resemblance !!! :-):-)

Today one patient told me that I look like actor Manoj Bajpayee!!!

I asked, "Is it?"

He replied, "Yes sir, 80%.."

I smiled and thanked him..
What to say, he even calculated the percentage.... :-):-):-)

A pleasant ride.. :-):-)

That day I was at my hometown Morigaon and at around 8pm I went to one of my cousin's place.. My companion was my 3yrs old niece sitting at the fuel tank of my bike.. Initially she didn't allow me to drive even at the speed of 30km/hr.

In her language, "Actually this is Kaka's (my papa's) "BHANGA BIKE" (broken bike), so we should not drive fast.."

God knows who taught her that term for the old bike..

But as we were returning and as some other bikes crossed us, her viewpoint changed..

She told me, "Oo doctor dada, amiu sihatar nisina speed'ot salau diana!!!" [["Doctor dada, let us also drive fast like them..!!!"]]

Its then that I realized.. Not only me, but she was also driving the same bike sitting on the fuel tank.. That means 2 drivers for the same bike !!! You know, thats the pleasure being with a child... :-):-)

Being a diabetic..

SCENE 1:

That day I went to one of my relative's house.. I was invited for dinner.. Auntie is a very good cook and as usual she prepared everything so tasty.. After the dinner was over, uncle, a known diabetic for several years on regular medications, told me,

"do you know Partha, what's the tragedy being a diabetic?"

I didn't answer and just kept looking at him.. Actually I was confused what he was upto..

He continued, "You see, both of us had finished dinner.. But to be true, I can take double of the amount of which I've consumed just now.. That means I've to control.. Just control and control..And this control is not for a single day.. Starting several years back, this control is for the whole rest of my life... You can't just escape.. !!!"

SCENE 2:

Another uncle, who is also a known diabetic on regular insulin, with whom I casually discussed the above incident told me,

"My problem is somewhat different, yeah, the control part is really a tragedy.. But you know what disturbs me a lot.. Its the overpowering.. Everybody in the family can decide what I can eat.. But not me.. I am now 73, and after a diabetic life of more than 3 decades I know it well what is good for me and what is not.. I know they (the family members) are conscious about my health and I am thankful to them, but sometimes I feel like I am under some dictatorship and that irritates and makes me real sad.."

MY VIEWPOINTS::

You know.. Both these uncles are real close to me and whatever they had disclosed was the flow of their unexpressed emotions.. Both of them never expected nor these are some grounds to avoid diet control and all those medicines.. But its also true that when we care for somebody, sometimes we eventually fail to understand the human being trapped inside the physical body dependant on some medications!!!!

Humanity lost :: a mother and a son !!!

Day before yesterday one of my distant relatives called me. Her son is undergoing treatment at a hospital in Guwahati for more than one month and she called me to enquire about his present condition.. She was vigorously crying during the 1st half of the call and I became too emotional for her.. You can easily imagine, anybody can understand a mother's feelings when her young married son with 2 little kids suffers from some diseases which take too long to get cured.. For more than 1 month her son and daughter in law are staying at the hospital leaving behind their kids with her.. I informed her that I'll surely talk to the consulting doctors and let her know about the present status.. She could feel my sympathy towards her and stopped crying; but what she said next just totally changed my attitude towards her..

"Both of them (her son and daughter in law) are at Guwahati leaving the kids with me and now I am having much trouble managing their children.. Ask the doctors to discharge him if the treatment might be any more prolonged.."

You know, I never expected a mother (and a grandmother) to speak like this.. She is having trouble managing her grandchildren, so her son should be discharged from the hospital even at the cost of his life!!! Simply unbelievable.. !!!

I asked her, "Actually Auntie, I am getting confused what's the main problem that is bothering you.. Is it that your son is suffering from some diseases or is it that your son is not getting cured and his treatment is taking a long course.. Or is it simply that you are having trouble to manage your grandchildren?"

She replied, "Let them handle their kids themselves!!!"

I was shocked to hear all these.. I replied, "Just because you've some trouble managing two little kids aged 5 and 8 years, you want me to ask the doctors to discharge your son from the hospital even if his condition deteriorates after that.. I can't do that.. But I'll surely enquire about his well being.. And I wanna tell you one thing.. For the first time in my entire life I've met such a mother and a grandmother like you!!!"

Whatever may be the reason, I can never imagine a mother for whom the life of her son is less valuable than her trouble... And what is the trouble? Its being the guardian of 2 little kids for some days or months..

You know, till that day I had this misinterpretation that in this present era only the kids have become too materialistic.. But I am sorry to say, I've seen degradation of moral values and destruction of motherly affection in this lady.. And I hope, I won't meet any such in future..

But if you think in other way, there might be history of neglect and misbehavior to that mother from that son and daughter in law in their good times.. It might be like she is too fond of her grandchildren, but sometimes when her mental agony as the neglected mother takes over the charge over her affection, her emotion outbursts and she speaks out something which seems to be inappropriate for a mother and a grandmother.. Recently there happened an incident where a daughter murdered her mother by some professional killers just to have some monetary benefit.. There are lots more examples...

Nothing more to say.. Rest to think and decide is upto you!!!!

Humanity lost :: Lady's seat !!!

Yesterday at around 2pm I boarded a city bus from Bhangagarh to Khanapara (Guwahati). I had to go to my hometown Morigaon from there. Being the May Day, very few buses were there and the bus was also too crowded.. Halfway the bus was boarded by one pair of young couple..

After a moment the husband started shouting at the conductor, ""Lady's seat pe betha do !!! " (Accommodate her at the Lady's seat..)

I was already standing and at his repeated shouting I casually checked whether there was any vacant Lady's seat.. At first I didn't see any, but then I noticed one thin and very old man with grey hairs leaving a Lady's seat.. There were already two nos. of middle aged women standing beside that seat and they didn't have any complaint regarding the old man occupying a seat reserved for the women.. And from the facial expression and the posture of that old man it became clearly apparent that he was not that much strong to travel standing on a running bus.. But who cares.. This young lady already happily occupied that seat..

I didn't feel pity for the weak old man.. Rather I felt pity for this young couple.. They are even more weaker !!!

Tears for a mother...

Today morning I went to a Private Nursing Home.. One of my Sister in law was undergoing a minor operation there.. My cousin and his 6 yrs old child (my niece) were waiting outside the operation theatre. After the operation was over, my cousin was called inside to complete the formalities..

Normally I've to "bribe" for the company of this niece, but today she crawled into my lap on her own.. Then after sometime I felt a drop of water on my fingers.... I got my answer by looking at her wet eyes.. She was silently crying..

I asked her, "What happened Maaina?"

She replied, "Maa thike asene?" (Is maa alright?)

I patted her back and said, "Yes, she is doing fine.."

You know.. When a child cries, sometimes I feel funny, sometimes sad, sometimes sympathetic, sometimes irritating and so on.. But when a child cries silently, that too for her mother's well being, that feeling is just wordless.. And precisely heavy enough to wet my heart...

A cute conversation...

Yesterday I was talking to a child patient at my clinic.. This is for the 3rd time that I've met her along with her mother and as such she is quite friendly with me.. She is a student of 3rd Standard and the way she talks, you won't have any other option, but to love her.. I asked her about her school ..

She replied, "Actually Sir, school is closed these days on the occasion of Bihu.. But will reopen from 22nd.."

I said, "Okay... then I'll also attend your school from 22nd.."

She asked me, "Will you be there to teach us something?"

"No, I'll be there to study with you..."

She remained thoughtful for a moment and then replied with a cute smile,

"One problem might be there .. Most probably they (teachers) won't allow you to join my class.. You are somewhat older you know... But you may join my brother.. He is in class 10..."

I couldn't say anything more.. I just smiled and lightly pecked her cheeks..

You know.. Thats the beauty of a conversation with a child... I agree, age never hinders study.. Yet, only a kid can so innocently say that I can still study in the same classroom along with the 15 year olds.. :-):-):-)

Child marriage by choice?!!!

This Saturday I met a young boy of around 20 yrs who came to donate
blood.. But do you know for whom he was donating? It was for his
mother in law!!! I once again checked at the donor form.. Its clearly
written, he is just 21. Being 21, he can obviously marry, but
personally I don't like this idea.. Anyway he married last year!!!

Then out of my curiosity I enquired about the age of his wife.. His reply was,

"16 or 17"

"Where was she studying at the time of marriage?"

"at class-IX. Its a love marriage Sir.. You can't take the risk !!!!"

That was his justification.. I didn't take much of his time by
clearing my doubts regarding "the risk" and all and allowed him to
proceed for the next step of blood donation.. Moreover this is not the
single case.. Already I've met a no. of married girls who seem to be
too young to get married !!!

Now coming to the main point, what will you term this? A child
marriage? That too by choice? At this young age both of them married
at their own will(!) even though both were legally underage.. Probably
parents from both sides have already accepted this relationship.. No
doubt.. the parents are actually left with not much of other choices..

Most of these marriages are result of the misleading teenage emotions
and mistakes due to lack of proper guidance and care and sometimes
even because of the eagerness of some of these parents to get rid of
their responsibilities to marry off their girl child.. Whatever may be
the reason, these can never be accepted.. By today or tomorrow most of
these teenage couples would invariably repent.. But till then usually
it becomes too late and they reach a point of no turning back..

So, leaving aside the legal issues or the other discussions on what
the harms and misfortunes a child marriage brings to a family, I would
just say that no matter how much we care, these trends are actually
happening in today's society and as the responsible citizens, we are
just acting as the silent spectators.. Nothing else !!!

Tall, dark and handsome !!!

That day one of my cousin told me,

"You know bro, all men are dogs.. But Pranamee bou needn't worry.. She should feel safe.."

I was delighted.. After all its a nice compliment.. At least somebody is there, who is sure that I bear a good character...

He again said with a silly smile, "Don't be that much glad.. I am not pointing towards your character.. "

I asked, "Then what?"

He replied, "You know, somebody rightly said that a guy must be tall, dark and handsome.. Ok, what's your height?"

I could easily assume what he was upto.. Actually this prank was not new to me...

Yet I replied, "5'9".."

"Yeah, you are 5'9", means you are definitely tall.. Coming to the 2nd criteria.. Congrats, You've made it.. you are obviously dark.. But alas... You don't fulfill the 3rd criteria !!!! Thats why Pranamee bou should feel safe.."

I don't know why.. But anyway I couldn't deny him anymore.. And laughed to my heart's content :-):-):-)

Praise that makes me feel helpless!!!

Yesterday I met a cute little girl.. She is otherwise a normal kid, exception being that she has to care about something what most other kids of her age are least bothered about.. She is merely 8 years old and a Thalassemia patient.. Tell me.. How many of us do know about our hemoglobin level? Ask her, and she'll promptly reply.. She doesn't know what actually Hemoglobin means... But she knows it for sure that once her hemoglobin level drops below certain level, she'll have to be transfused blood once again.. Anyway, she needs blood transfusion every month.. And mind you, its a necessity not just for her well being, but for her survival!!!

Her mother comes to blood bank every month to get blood issued for her daughter and thus I've already met her mother for several times and thus helped her occasionally in getting the blood units.. And yesterday when the mother introduced me to the child telling her with an emotional expression that she (the child) is still alive just because of us, I rather felt uneasy.. You know.. Such a praise doesn't enlighten me, rather make me feel helpless.. Make me feel the pain they always carry!!!

Childhood refreshed..!!

Few days back in the afternoon when I called my younger sister, She was about to take a nap as her baby was asleep.. Around 15 mins after disconnecting her call, I felt like a naughty child once again and I again called her..

"Hello Baba !!"...

From her drowsy voice it could be clearly understood that I've definitely accomplished my aim to disturb her sleep.. And it provided me ultimate pleasure..

I replied, "Actually Tutu... I wanted to enquire whether you could sleep well or not..!!!" and we both just laughed and laughed.. :-) What if even for a moment, but this little act refreshed my childhood once again..

You know... Like most of you who have atleast even one sibling or cousin to grow up together, my whole childhood was filled by the charming presence of my younger brother and sister.. We played, studied and did fight with each other over chilly things.. Actually we did everything together.. But now that we have grown up, we all have own personal and and job related responsibilities and now the situation is such that we can't even meet each other regularly.... This is life and we'll have to carry on... But these sweet memories will be cherished ever and ever again and these will always remain integral parts of our life !!! And hopefully our next generation will also enjoy the same !!!

Kids: help bridging the gap..

That day we were returning from Manali to New Delhi by a Volvo bus. Around 45 passengers were there and at least 6 nos of kids in the age group of 2 to 4 years were accompanying different passengers at different seats.. It was for the first time for me to travel in a bus having so many little kids.. Ok, for initial 2-3 hrs nothing happened.. We adults were busy amongst ourselves and some of the parents were bothered by some of the kids.. Then all of a sudden the scenario changed... First of all two kids from my front 4 seats started to interact with each other in their own(!) language.. They just shouted and laughed and laughed.. Then one kid from my back seat joined them.. Gradually all the kids started communicating and laughing.. To make it easier, most of them stood on the seats or on their parent's lap.. And you know, it was proved once again that laughing is really contagious.. We adults also joined them.. We couldn't control ourselves.. The kids laughed and we also just laughed without any reason.. The situation became so pleasant that it won't be possible for me to express it properly in words.. Its because of these little kids that we, the adults, even if for a moment, could interact with each other without any verbal conversations..

Really these little angels can befriend with anybody in no time and even easily bridge the gap amongst adults...

Helping attitude and the presentation..

That day after returning from Moradabad to Guwahati by train I went to my younger sister's place.. My brother in law asked me to stay there overnight. I readily agreed and planned to attend my duties today directly from their place.. Dinner was somewhat late.. After dinner all of us were going through the photographs and videos of my trip..

At around 1 am, one patient called me at my cellphone.. Actually he asked me for some favour around 1 hour back, for which I asked him to ring me up once he reaches the hospital.. Ok, without revealing much details I would just say that although I tried to help him over phone by talking to the on duty doctors and other staffs present at that moment, I couldn't solve his problem completely.

I felt sorry for him and said, "I am extremely sorry, but may be you're not that much lucky tonight!!"

He replied, "No sir, its ok.. Actually I am sorry to disturb you at this odd hours of midnight.. And thanks a lot that you tried!!"

After the call was disconnected, my younger sister told me, "Look Baba, its good that you tried to help that person.. And even he would be grateful to you for that.. But you know, that person is anyway unlucky to have attended a hospital at this hour.. So instead of telling him 'May be you are not that much lucky tonight', if you would have said like 'May be I am not that much lucky to help you out tonight', then it would have been more pleasant to his ears.. Its not necessary to remind him once again that he is already unlucky!!!"

Her explanation made me to rethink..

Its true that helping attitude and  politeness matter a lot, but slightly improvised modification in the presentation would really work even better and is indeed quite important to remember!!!

Terrifying journey!!

Right now I'm on my way to Guwahati since yesterday by train after dropping my wife at her institute at Moradabad (UP). Last night after dinner most of the passengers went to sleep.. I was checking something at my laptop along with replying to some comments on Facebook.. At around 1 am, I thought it to be better to go to sleep... Everything went fine.. But as I was returning to my cabin/coupe after using the wash room, I got confused.. Most of the lights were switched off and most of the cabins were covered by curtains.. Anybody travelling by Rajdhani Express can easily imagine the situation... Only the passage was slightly visible in a very low light condition.. Yet after much calculation I entered my cabin and approached to my seat.. Just before taking my seat, I switched on my mobile display and to my horror, in its low light I saw a girl sleeping on my seat.. God.. I had entered the wrong cabin!!! I could do nothing, but to hurriedly return near the wash room and take some deep breaths.. Thank god, nobody shouted like "What the hell are you doing here?" I waited there for around 15 minutes.. I was even afraid to try to find my cabin once again.. But thankfully it came to my mind that I had left my another mobile at my seat.. So I started ringing it and finally could return to my seat..

Now I am laughing at myself.. No explanations needed, but it was the most horrible experience of my lifetime!!!

Never thought that train journey could be this much terrifying... :-):-)

Otherwise god knows..:-)

That day I asked a patient to remove his jacket to measure his blood pressure. Just then one of our staff called me to have a look at an another patient. I was back in less than a minute.. and till then the patient already removed his jacket and sweater and was in the process of removing his shirt.

I stopped him with a smile saying, "I told you to remove just your jacket!!"

Thank god.. I didn't take much time to return to my cabin!! Otherwise god knows.. :-):-)

Feelings of a Mother!!

That day I was casually talking to one of my senior who is also here with me at Lucknow for 1 month training along with some others.. In the meantime one sms was delivered at her cellphone..

She said, "Look, what my son has sent me..."

It was a sms from her 9 year old  son (sent from his father's mobile), which said, "Love you Maa.."

Its really tough for any mother to stay away from her kids.. Yet she is here for 1 month.. Job responsibility you know..

I smiled to her.. she smiled back... She didn't complain anything but she silently tried to suppress her emotions and her significantly instant wet eyes made me feel everything !!!!

Unfelt comfort and security ...

Yesterday I was at the marketplace at Lucknow and one bike passed by where a little kid of about 5-6 years of age was on the rear seat holding tightly her father or may be her uncle who was riding the bike. It might be a pleasure ride or for some work, but her face clearly expressed the satisfaction, security and the comfort she was feeling unknowingly and thus it reminded me of my childhood..

When I was at 4th standard, I used to come to my then primary school which was around 10 kms away from our house by sitting in between my maa and papa on papa's Rajdoot motor cycle. Everyday papa first dropped maa at her workplace, then me and at last he went to his college. Like this little kid, me too could understand nothing at that moment, but now I can feel that comfort and security that remained unknown to me.

Its just a single example.. You know, there are so many instances..  Sometimes we even feel our parents to be our worst enemies, but later as we gradually grow up, we come to know about the significance.. I am not telling that our parents do the right things all the time.. Too err is human.. But its also true that whatever may be their income, most of the times they try to provide us the comfort and the facilities to their level best which we quite often fail to understand!!!

High ambition of parents: What could be done?

Few days back one of my patients  called me. Without revealing much I would only say that he is a young boy preparing for some entrance exams. He actually came to me for eye check up for several times as his ocular problem needed regular review and I came to know much about him and his family.. But that day he called me not for his eye complaints, but to prescribe him a sleeping tablet and that too over phone.. At first he told me that he needs it for one of his friends.. But I am that much intelligent to understand his intention. After some persuasion he informed me that he has already spent a number of sleepless nights due to heavy tension. His parents are expecting too much and he thinks he won't be able to fulfill "their" dreams.. He was not up for some drastic steps, he just needed some good sleep.. Obviously I denied to prescribe.. I could do nothing much, but assured him that everything will be fine some day, volunteered to talk to his parents if needed once I am back to Guwahati.. and advised him quite sympathetically to consult someone else for the time being...  Taking sleeping tablets under medical supervision is not at all an issue to mention, anybody, even I may need it sometime.. But in this case, the cause is different!!

What I am trying to highlight is the expectation of our parents.. I'm not telling about everybody.. But some parents are there who just try to fulfill all their unfulfilled dreams through their children, which may be even far far more than the capacity of their kids.. After a while some of these parents return to reality which is truly good, but some others never try to realize the mental turmoil these kids go through.. Yeah, its true that sometimes we fail to understand our caliber.. Its our parents and teachers who can actually guide us in these turning points of our life to make us capable to understand our dream, aim and capacity.. But putting the kids under too much pressure and not knowing how to mentally support them when they are in need is more than enough needed reasonings to blame these parents..

Sometimes some of the kids are seen to misuse the facilities provided by their trusting parents, but its an another issue and we'll discuss it later.. Anyway there is increasing trends of psychiatric problems in today's teens due to highly competitive scenario... And if even the parents or guardians fail to support them in a positive way when they are in real distress, they may loose trust in everything..

Encourage your kids that they would do better even if they fail to accomplish something when you notice them trying their level best.. There are lots of scopes in life.. One closes and another one opens.. Provide proper guidance on your own or by somebody else.. But definitely with utmost mental support and then... Everybody will be more than happy!!!