Totally wrong first impressions !!!

That day I was returning from Accoland, Guwahati with three of my nephews and nieces... As I crossed the Maligaon overbridge (Guwahati), I noticed something unusual... Actually that day it was too hot... There was a car in front of mine, a red coloured WagonR, of which all the windows were tightly shut and somebody was using a hand held fan made of bamboo... I felt it somewhat funny... All the windows were shut and that they had to use a hand held fan means their AC was not functioning properly... If they were feeling that much heat, they could simply open their windows... Anyway there was neither any dust nor any foul smell at that place!!!

I was about to have my final funny opinion about those people... But suddenly I noticed one head raising for a moment near their rear window on the left side of the seat.. And you know...  My opinion totally changed all of a sudden... Actually some ill person was there inside that car... The lady in the middle of the  rear seat, who was using the hand held fan was doing the same not for her own comfort, but for the comfort of the ill one... Probably they were on their way to a hospital... You can easily presume the emotional turmoil the said lady was going through, who was trying to cool off her dear one using a fan inside a car even after the AC was on...

After some time I lost track of the car in the heavy traffic... But I really felt sorry for drawing a funny remark on somebody who was actually in great tension!!!

You know... This is just a simple single example of the whole lot of mistakes we make in our entire life... Sometimes we are in a too hurry to draw an impression... Sometimes we just fail to understand others...Occasionally we are able to overcome these first impressions, but most of the times we just fail... Sometimes just because of these wrong impressions some relationships come to an end even before the start... Sometimes someone is even forced to suffer a hell lot of pain... 

During my professional and also in my personal life,  I have so many alike experiences... Sometimes at first I misjudge a person (by his appearance) to be too arrogant until I start talking...

Few weeks back, I witnessed a news on TV where some outsider young boys were beaten black and blue by an angry mob in a village...  They were suspected (baselessly?) to be involved in some illegal unsocial activities... Their physical appearance acted against themselves to increase the anger of the enraged people... They had tattoes, long hair, unconventional beards and all... No doubt, I never support those people who take laws into their own hands... This is a different topic and will be discussed elsewhere.. But you know what... I have personally met a number of such young boys who are actually much more humble and polite than most of our so called gently dressed people...

Around one month back I met a cute couple at my clinic...  You can invariably use all those terms like "Made for each other" etc for this pair..  I was highly impressed by their personality.. The way the husband expressed his concern about his wife, it didn't take me much time to realize his caring nature... The wife was having a black eye following some blunt trauma... I was examining her and he went outside for a moment to answer a phone call...

"Actually sir, he is the man... Frequently he use to heavily drink and then beat me up... "

I was stunned.. She couldn't continue any longer as her husband came inside within a moment. I couldn't even decide what to say or how to act on that sudden unexpected realization... But I didn't miss the silent request  in the eyes of that young lady to keep myself quiet...

Somebody rightly said that first impression is not always the last impression... To be true, it can actually be multilayered!!!

An apology to all those parents !!

On Thursday night my younger sister called me. Actually my 1 year 10 months old nephew was having some health related issues for which their consulting Pediatrician had advised him an MRI examination... Most probably he is having some minor problems, but thinking about the differential diagnosis (probable various conditions/diseases that may result in the said health related problems) and about all the possible consequences, they had become somewhat tense. My sister is also a doctor, but invariably in most of the cases a mother is just a mother to a child, her professional knowledge doesn't work much. Anyway even if it could be a minor surgery, there is every possibility that he might have to undergo one in not too distant future.. I am almost sure that it would be a 'very' minor surgery, but he is not even 2 years old.. Being so young, he would have to undergo the operation under general anaesthesia, i.e. he would be kept unconscious by anaesthetic medications during the procedure...

These days the medical field has developed a lot and provided everything remains systematic and technically correct, he won't have any untoward effect from this simple  operation... Yet an operation is an operation...

So on Friday, after I attended my duties at my workplace and then after I finished my evening chamber, I went to my sister's place... We had to discuss about the further treatment protocol...

Till I was at my clinics, I was busy with my patients and to be true I didn't feel much for my nephew... But as I was on my way to meet him, unknowingly I became somewhat emotional... I know, he has a minor problem and soon he would be absolutely fine, yet I could not resist myself and went to a shop and bought a teddy bear for him. Usually I take one or two small Cadbury chocolates for him and sometimes even I meet him without any gift... But that day at that moment I felt like a chocolate is too less for him and a teddy would be something better... By doing such, I was actually trying to see him even more happier...

So after paying for the same I once again started my car and headed towards my nephew's place... Then all of a sudden one agonizing feeling disturbed me from the core of my heart....

When I was doing my internship in GMCH specially in Pediatrics department and later during my life as a junior resident in the Dept. of Pediatrics in Tripura Medical College, I met quite a number of financially poor parents.. Quite often some of them asked me naming some of the expensive foods, whether they can provide those to their ailing kids... Sometimes I allowed, sometimes I denied owing to the kid's health condition... Sometimes I even answered roughly, "These expensive things are unnecessary for now... Rather spend your money on the medications prescribed and on a healthy diet!!!" What even if I answered like that keeping in view of their financial status, that they might face short of money to buy essential medications once they spend on those expensive products, yet I feel sorry for them today....

On routine basis their monthly income doesn't permit them to provide fruits and other expensive nutritious diets to their kids. But once they fall ill, all parents become even more concerned... They try to provide them the happiness they desire, what if it causes a hole in their pockets... Simply they try to make their kids even more happier during their illness like I was trying the same with my nephew...

Once I reached my destination, my nephew came running to me with the cutest smile on his face calling me "Mama.. Mama"...

I smiled at him, called him "Ghotu..", lifted him up and kissed his both cheeks with the utmost affection...

Later after I had my tea, when I described my aforementioned feelings to my younger sister, she replied,

"You know Baba, your these feelings will increase even more once you become a father!!!!"

I was just speechless.... Thus by this update, I want to say sorry to all those parents whose emotions I somehow failed to understand!!!

Independence day and the terrorists !!!

My mother has come to Guwahati day before yesterday. According to her schedule, she stayed for one night at my place, then for 2 nights she will stay at my younger sister's place and then in the early hours of 16th of August, she will again leave for my hometown Morigaon to resume her duties. Accordingly yesterday after my duty was over, I dropped her at my younger sister's place at Bharalu. After that I was returning to my rented house at Ulubari. It was already evening and while I was crossing the busy Paltan Bazar area driving my car, incidentally this thought came to my mind...

"What if now a bomb blasts near me and I just become a past!!!"

It was 14th August... As usual some "BANDHs" have been called by some organizations on 15th of August, i.e. on our Independence Day... Already high alert has been declared by the govt and the security has also been seemingly increased than before keeping in view of some terrorist activity...

You know.... Its very easy for these terrorists to end the life of a common man like me... Its very easy for them to stealthily place a bomb anywhere and then to have a blast and take lives to increase(?) their importance and to display their power!!! But you know what? If you are really strong enough, you should have the courage to fight from the front... These kinds of cowardice acts like bomb blasts and all would not serve anything in the greater interest of the nation...

Few days back one of my friend said to me, "You know Partha, Mahatma Gandhi and other freedom fighters were also termed terrorists by the then Govt... Likewise those, whom we term terrorists now will also be called the saviour of our people in coming near future... Already you have some 'live' examples I suppose..."

I answered, "You know, our forefathers did fight against some foreigners... They had public support... But those acting now are fighting against their own people.. Ask for public voting and see if any of these so called organizations come forward... I think nobody amongst them have that moral courage... That's the difference !!!"

You call yourselves "freedom fighters"... You blame the govt of forcefully imposing everything on us... But answer me one question honestly... What are you people doing? By killing those innocents and creating an atmosphere of terror, you are also doing the same... You are also trying to forcefully implement your views upon us... The kids may not be aware of their well being's, but at least we, the adults, know it well what is good and what is bad for us... So if you need attention, its well and good... But try something else... Why make our lives terrible?

Whenever there are some news of some terrorist activity, whenever there are some news of loss of lives related to all these and in case happening near the places of my dear ones, my heart feels emptiness for sometime... One mightn't not feel it all the time or everyday, but nobody can be sure whether he/she would be able to return home safely... Even my mother, wife and sister call me sometimes immediately after such kinds of news items are being broadcast... They may not like to ask it directly, but by their action it becomes apparent that they want to hear my clear voice... It might sound heartening, but... Indirectly they try to know it for sure that their loving son/husband/brother is still alive!!!!

So yesterday when all of a sudden that feeling of becoming a "past" came to my mind, somehow I didn't feel any kind of fear for death... Instead one smile appeared on my face... I was driving my car.... And from deep inside my heart I was just cursing those terrorists... Anyway, thank you for making our lives miserable!!! Happy independence day...!!!!

When money speaks, the truth is silent!!!

That day I was busy doing something at my workplace when one of our staffs, employed on contractual basis, came to me and said,

"Sir, can't you do something regarding our salary? For last 5 yrs I am getting 5,000/- rupees per month... Only god knows how much trouble I have been through while  managing my family with that income at Guwahati!!!"

He knows it well that at my position I am not the right person to help him out... But probably he needed someone at that moment to express his agony and he incidentally told me all these.. But to be true, its tough to believe that he is running his entire family with that little income, that too at a city like Guwahati... But that's the reality and he is already doing that...

Then again last Saturday when I was going to my hometown Morigaon, I boarded one traveller. Its a medium sized vehicle with a seating capacity of around 20 persons... After sometime when I felt somewhat drowsy, I felt something hitting at my thigh.. You know, it was the head of the handyman... He was sitting at the empty space on the floor beside my seat... He was sleepy and time to time his head hit my thigh... I didn't try to wake him up... Surely he started his work in the early morning... Probably this is the only way to get rid of his tiredness to some extent.... And at the end of the day, what will he get? He will be paid hardly Rupees 200/- or something like that... Provided somehow its a "bandh" or somehow he falls ill, his income for the day will be zero.. It can be easily assumed that he earns not more than rupees 5,000/- per month.. Yet without complaining anything he is cheerfully doing his job..

These are some harsh realities which we encounter everyday.. Someone doesn't get satisfied even after earning lakhs of rupees per month.. And someone is running an entire family at an income, which is equivalent to the cost of a rich guy's one single jeans pant !!!

I don't know what I am up to...

You know, you can never compare one's income with another one. Based on the social status and all other factors, everyone's expenditure is different... But in a broader sense, whatever may be the income, some expenses are the same.. As for example, in case of illness, when you really need some costly medical manoeuvre for your well being, you may hope to get well soon only if you can pay for it.... Otherwise you are free to count your time !!!

Money speaks sense... And when money speaks, the truth is silent !!!

It's a boy..!!!

Few days back I met a guy of around 30 yrs. He came to our blood bank to donate blood.

"Actually sir, my wife is admitted here. She had to undergo caesarean section for delivery..... One unit of blood was provided from here on loan basis and thus I've come to replace the blood loan"

"How is your wife now?"

"She is doing well Sir..."

"What about the baby?"

"Its a 'boy' Sir..!!!"

The way he presented the news, I could well presume his happiness... Anyway the joy of becoming a parent can't be expressed in words... But the amount of importance he put on the word 'boy' just clicked me... So instead of congratulating him, I asked him,

"Okay, what was his birth weight?"

"It was 2.6 kg sir..."

"That's great... Exclusively breastfeed the baby till his 6th completed months and he will be more than fine..."

You know, when I was a teenager, I used to feel good when I received the news of a newborn baby boy amongst our relatives... It was the effect of my surroundings I suppose... Then as I grew somewhat elder, I used to congratulate the parents with extra care when there was the news of a newborn baby boy... Because its a 'boy'.... After I joined my MBBS course and after I became even more matured, whenever I heard such a news, I used to say, "Oh.. Its a boy... Congratulations, your family might be even more happier..." That means I used to congratulate them minus my happiness...

This continued till around 2 years back when I realized something... Congratulating solely on the birth of a baby, no matter whether it's a boy or a girl, is entirely an another issue, but when we congratulate someone with special reference to the birth of a baby 'boy', we  actually indirectly display our preference to have a son... We indirectly encourage others to enhance the wrong notion, "A son is of more use than a daughter." We indirectly  say that boys are better than girls... Even worse, without being in our mind, we unknowingly advocate female foeticide!!!

Even our new generation has not been able to stop this discrimination against women.. Everyday there are lots of news related to female abuse and all.. A number of awareness programmes are going on to save the girl child and some of them are doing well.. Ok these programmes will take their own course.. But until and unless we try something at our personal level and unless we change our mindsets, the effects won't last long... Until a day comes when all mother and father in laws stop blaming their daughter in laws after repeatedly giving birth to girls and until all parents can become happy even after parenting 2 girls, these will just continue...

So, starting few months back, I have personally initiated this small step... No doubt,  whenever someone conveys me a good news, it would be inhuman on my part if somehow I make them feel bad... So on getting such a news when the family members become too 'overwhelmed' on the birth of a 'boy', most of the times I just smile and say, "I would have liked even more if it was a baby girl...  Anyway congratulations !!!"

I want Partha's land, won't you support???

Few days back my parents went to my younger brother's place (Jorhat, Assam). As summer vacation was going on, they stayed with him for around 15 days and returned before my mother's school reopened. Most of you may not know that I come to my hometown Morigaon for 3 evenings in each week for my private practice after finishing my duty at my workplace GMCH. During those days when my parents were absent, I didn't have to worry about anything at my hometown, I mean regarding food etc.... Most of my neighbours and relatives were actually concerned about me even more than myself or my parents.. Each night I had dinner invitations in one of my neighbours' or relatives' place... One particular neighbour regularly woke me up at 6.30 am so that I wouldn't miss my duty at Guwahati from 10 am. Even sometimes some of my neighbours dropped me at the bus stoppage in that early hours.

I am telling all these to let you know how helpful my neighbours are... But if I want, I can easily create some unwanted scenes or quarrels with my so friendly neighbours which won't even need much effort... But to maintain our relationships as on today, we need to be careful enough... Just because of these neighbours our whole family can leave the house even for weeks without having to worry about other care takers... We are having a great time together, but if somehow we have to deal with all those daily obstacles singlehandedly, we will face much trouble... This is true in a bigger sense actually.

After the Telengana issue, there are demands from many segments regarding formation of so many new states in Assam. Assam has been divided thrice since Independence with Nagaland carved out in 1963, Meghalaya with the passing of North Eastern (Reorganisation Areas) Act in 1971 and Mizoram, which first became a Union Territory in 1971 and was later made a state in 1985.

You know... Most of us fail to understand some bitter facts.. Politics is too complex and cruel to be understood by us, the general public... For the sake of argument lets suppose some new states are formed... But will that be peaceful? No... There will be lots of violence and blood shedding of the general public... After all those, who will be benefitted? Only some of the leaders and the opportunists... The lives of the common man eventually will remain the same... Nobody to complain!!! Anyway the memory of our people are too short... Within no time we will forget everything and once again after a few years we will be able to raise our demands for a newer state or even a new country!!!

It doesn't matter whether my points touches anyone or not... I am a citizen of independent India, thus I have the full rights to express my healthy views... So today, I won't hesitate to declare it publicly that I can never support the idea of "Independent Assam" as proposed by ULFA, and likewise I won't like to see Assam to divide any more... I am an Indian Assamese and would like to remain the same for ever..!!!