It's a boy..!!!

Few days back I met a guy of around 30 yrs. He came to our blood bank to donate blood.

"Actually sir, my wife is admitted here. She had to undergo caesarean section for delivery..... One unit of blood was provided from here on loan basis and thus I've come to replace the blood loan"

"How is your wife now?"

"She is doing well Sir..."

"What about the baby?"

"Its a 'boy' Sir..!!!"

The way he presented the news, I could well presume his happiness... Anyway the joy of becoming a parent can't be expressed in words... But the amount of importance he put on the word 'boy' just clicked me... So instead of congratulating him, I asked him,

"Okay, what was his birth weight?"

"It was 2.6 kg sir..."

"That's great... Exclusively breastfeed the baby till his 6th completed months and he will be more than fine..."

You know, when I was a teenager, I used to feel good when I received the news of a newborn baby boy amongst our relatives... It was the effect of my surroundings I suppose... Then as I grew somewhat elder, I used to congratulate the parents with extra care when there was the news of a newborn baby boy... Because its a 'boy'.... After I joined my MBBS course and after I became even more matured, whenever I heard such a news, I used to say, "Oh.. Its a boy... Congratulations, your family might be even more happier..." That means I used to congratulate them minus my happiness...

This continued till around 2 years back when I realized something... Congratulating solely on the birth of a baby, no matter whether it's a boy or a girl, is entirely an another issue, but when we congratulate someone with special reference to the birth of a baby 'boy', we  actually indirectly display our preference to have a son... We indirectly encourage others to enhance the wrong notion, "A son is of more use than a daughter." We indirectly  say that boys are better than girls... Even worse, without being in our mind, we unknowingly advocate female foeticide!!!

Even our new generation has not been able to stop this discrimination against women.. Everyday there are lots of news related to female abuse and all.. A number of awareness programmes are going on to save the girl child and some of them are doing well.. Ok these programmes will take their own course.. But until and unless we try something at our personal level and unless we change our mindsets, the effects won't last long... Until a day comes when all mother and father in laws stop blaming their daughter in laws after repeatedly giving birth to girls and until all parents can become happy even after parenting 2 girls, these will just continue...

So, starting few months back, I have personally initiated this small step... No doubt,  whenever someone conveys me a good news, it would be inhuman on my part if somehow I make them feel bad... So on getting such a news when the family members become too 'overwhelmed' on the birth of a 'boy', most of the times I just smile and say, "I would have liked even more if it was a baby girl...  Anyway congratulations !!!"

I want Partha's land, won't you support???

Few days back my parents went to my younger brother's place (Jorhat, Assam). As summer vacation was going on, they stayed with him for around 15 days and returned before my mother's school reopened. Most of you may not know that I come to my hometown Morigaon for 3 evenings in each week for my private practice after finishing my duty at my workplace GMCH. During those days when my parents were absent, I didn't have to worry about anything at my hometown, I mean regarding food etc.... Most of my neighbours and relatives were actually concerned about me even more than myself or my parents.. Each night I had dinner invitations in one of my neighbours' or relatives' place... One particular neighbour regularly woke me up at 6.30 am so that I wouldn't miss my duty at Guwahati from 10 am. Even sometimes some of my neighbours dropped me at the bus stoppage in that early hours.

I am telling all these to let you know how helpful my neighbours are... But if I want, I can easily create some unwanted scenes or quarrels with my so friendly neighbours which won't even need much effort... But to maintain our relationships as on today, we need to be careful enough... Just because of these neighbours our whole family can leave the house even for weeks without having to worry about other care takers... We are having a great time together, but if somehow we have to deal with all those daily obstacles singlehandedly, we will face much trouble... This is true in a bigger sense actually.

After the Telengana issue, there are demands from many segments regarding formation of so many new states in Assam. Assam has been divided thrice since Independence with Nagaland carved out in 1963, Meghalaya with the passing of North Eastern (Reorganisation Areas) Act in 1971 and Mizoram, which first became a Union Territory in 1971 and was later made a state in 1985.

You know... Most of us fail to understand some bitter facts.. Politics is too complex and cruel to be understood by us, the general public... For the sake of argument lets suppose some new states are formed... But will that be peaceful? No... There will be lots of violence and blood shedding of the general public... After all those, who will be benefitted? Only some of the leaders and the opportunists... The lives of the common man eventually will remain the same... Nobody to complain!!! Anyway the memory of our people are too short... Within no time we will forget everything and once again after a few years we will be able to raise our demands for a newer state or even a new country!!!

It doesn't matter whether my points touches anyone or not... I am a citizen of independent India, thus I have the full rights to express my healthy views... So today, I won't hesitate to declare it publicly that I can never support the idea of "Independent Assam" as proposed by ULFA, and likewise I won't like to see Assam to divide any more... I am an Indian Assamese and would like to remain the same for ever..!!!

Charity or Showoff???

That day one of my close friend said to me, "Partha, it seems you like to show off a lot !!!"

I asked him, "Why?"

He said, "You never upload when you do something wrong... But whenever you do something good, you let know the whole world by updating a blog on Facebook... Even you never miss to upload a photograph when u donate blood... It's good that u try to help others by your small steps, but what I think is that charity should be silent !!!"

I smiled and answered diplomatically, "Actually (my friend), it depends how you accept certain things..!! and at my level, uploading my wrong doings might not serve any purpose..."

He didn't say anything else... Anyway, only a good friend can criticize you in this way...

Coming to my viewpoint, I personally strongly believe that charity 'looks' better if it is done silently, but it 'works' better if you can motivate others to do the same!!! And today I am going to cite you two examples related to my Facebook updates...

EXAMPLE NO. 1:

That day one of my junior called me.. He has recently joined as a Senior Resident in AIIMS, New Delhi after completing his Post Graduation from GMCH, Guwahati. He was here at Guwahati for a few days to complete some of the official formalities. He wanted to donate blood.

He said, " Partha da, I've already donated blood for three times till now... But your updates and photographs increased my desire even more... Thought it would be good to donate once again before I leave Assam..."

Later I noticed him uploading his photograph of blood donation on Facebook... I think his photograph with his bright smile rightfully expressed his pleasure and it'll influence at least some of his friends to come forward to do the same !!!

EXAMPLE NO. 2:

Today at around 12.15 pm one of my junior Prachyajyoti Bora came to meet me. He had noticed one mentally challenged old lady lying near GMCH in a too critical condition.. The human being inside this young boy felt the strong urge to help the poor lady..

What he said just filled my heart...

"Actually Partha da, recently I had read your update titled "I am a disco dancer" and thus it came to my mind that you would be the right person to approach..."

And you know what... With the help of some of his friends like Dipangkar Das and others and our medical college authority, that lady was later admitted at our institute. Now the lady will get the proper medical attention she deserves. In the meantime I am going to seek help of some NGOs if they can somehow take her responsibility.. Otherwise once discharged, she will again return to the same unhygienic condition....

Well done Prachya and friends... We all are proud of you...

We all need each other...

Months back I had updated a status titled, "Humanity lost: Lady's seat...", in which I described an incident where a husband forced a very weak old man, who was occupying a lady's seat to leave his seat to his wife... Probably some of my friends still remember it...

Now let me describe you another experience...

That day I was once again coming from Bhangagarh to Khanapara, Guwahati in a city bus after finishing my duty at GMCH.. Actually I had to come to my hometown Morigaon... Ok, the city bus was not at all crowded... I was in the last row of seats and leaving aside some of the lady's seats, all other seats were occupied... In the next stoppage one old man got into the bus and he directly stood in front of me... He could have taken a vacant seat meant for the ladies, but he was just reluctant to do so.. May be he already had some bitter experiences... Ok, in the next stoppage the seats were filled up and the bus became somewhat crowded...

I said to the old man, "Uncle, you may sit here!" and left my seat...

Next came the problem... My bag was somewhat heavy and I faced trouble in the crowded bus to manage it...

I politely asked that old man, "Uncle, can you kindly hold my bag for sometime on your lap?"

You see... He was sitting in the seat which I was actually occupying, but he flatly denied to hold my bag even for a moment saying, "I am sorry, but I don't know what is in your bag..!!!"

Before I could think about anything, the young boy next to him gladly took my bag with a bright smile and thus he saved me from the feeling of embarrassment...

Somebody rightly said... Most of times the very  aged people once again become a child... No means no, and yes means absolutely yes... :-):-):-) 

Till now I have learnt countless things from my juniors... From this incident I once again learnt this very important thing in life... You know,  age is never a hinder... Even a younger can make us learn a lot simply by his/her action... This young boy, whom I even didn't notice made my moment...

Mark Caine said that any man to whom you can do a favor is your friend, and that you can do a favor to almost anyone..... And I strongly believe that.... Anyway we all need each other.....

I am a disco dancer..!!!

Today I had morning duty at Blood Bank, GMCH. As I was about to leave from my rented house, I saw one lady around 100 metres apart... She was making some movements.. It appeared like she was dancing to the tunes of some music and that too by the side of a public road !! While I was crossing her, I slowed down my speed to some extent and watched her carefully taking utmost care not to embarrass her in any way... But she was totally indifferent to the surroundings...  She was herself singing the song "I am a disco dancer.." and was dancing to the same tunes... She would be around 40 yrs old.. She was well dressed and from her dresses it appeared like she belongs to a good family and from the prominent vermilion on her forehead I came to know that she is a married woman... Probably she belongs to some family in my neighbourhood as I have seen her a few times before... Even yesterday I had noticed her on the same place near Iskon Temple, Ulubari, Guwahati, singing the same song...

Frankly speaking, I didn't have the courage to approach her at that time on that empty road, moreover it won't serve any reason, but I have every hope that may be there will be someone who will be able to identify this lady by the slightest hint that I have mentioned in this post and thus will notify her family about her condition if they are not already aware of... I am also quite sure that if somebody knows her, then he/she will be careful enough not to reveal her identity here...

You know... Most of us have the hesitation to consult a Psychiatrist even for the most needed conditions of a family member... By acting this way, temporarily we may be "successful" to keep our so called "Family pride" intact, but on long course, knowingly or unknowingly we do huge injustice to our loved ones by denying the necessary medical attention they deserve.. Its really tragic that even in this century psychiatric problems are social stigmas... But do you know what I feel? Personally I feel, somebody might even need lifelong medications, yet like diabetes and hypertension, if someone gets proper treatment and consultation, he or she would be able to lead a normal productive life in most of the psychiatric conditions...

I don't know why, but I was deeply saddened by the scene that I witnessed and thus I am writing this post to convey one bitter truth... If she really has a caring family, she would get proper Psychiatric treatment and soon she would get back to normalcy ... Otherwise there is every possibility that there will be addition of another woman to the whole lot of numerous mentally imbalanced persons whom we quite often encounter roaming pathetically here and there..  Nothing more to say..!!!!