Death: an inevitable unbearable art!!!

[[##(Confession: I am not sure whether I should update this or not... It's my humble tribute to one of my patient cum friend.. I know, after going through this, you would surely feel sympathy towards the child that I am going to mention about... But pityness would be an entirely different issue and it would be against the interest of the child.. Hence Unlike my previous posts, some of the facts are modified in this update to maintain privacy. But the incidents are presented as they happened in reality. And for your information, she is now doing fine under the warm guardianship of some near relatives.)##]]

Few months back, one evening I was at my hometown Morigaon when one of my close friends (a doctor) called me,

"Partha, sorry to convey you a message, but you know, that kid's father expired.. As you are so close to them, I thought you should be informed.."

It didn't take me even a moment to guess whom my friend was referring to... She is a cute little girl, around 9 yrs old... Her mother expired long back... She is a distant relative of my friend and her father was one of my patients... Although there was a huge age difference, somehow her father became a good friend of mine and thus I have met her for several times in last 2 yrs and in the meantime I became her loving doctor uncle... She is too fond of me.. On many occasions they came to my clinic on her insistance just to say me "Hi"... Only 2 days back he was admitted at a hospital and that evening I got that tragic news.. Frankly speaking, I was too sad to hear about the happenings, but I became even more concerned about her future...

Next morning I went to meet the child. She was sitting on a mattress outside her house... There were many persons there at that moment... She didn't notice me at first... She appeared so calm and quiet... Her vacant vision was focussed at something which was unknown to me.. Probably she was thinking about all the good times that she spent with her father... Or  it might also happen that her mind was  totally blank at that moment... Only god knows how much pain a little heart of that age can tolerate!!!

I paused for a moment... I couldn't gather the courage to call her and bring her back to reality.. I went inside, took a seat on a sofa and then became even more confused how to approach the child... At last after sometime I called her,

"Maa..."

The kid who was so calm and quiet till few moments back, who was trying her best to control her emotions, just broke down after seeing me... Tear started flowing her eyes... She said weeping,

"My papa left me uncle !!!"

I wasn't sure how to react... My heart became heavy enough to think about anything else... I lifted her, made her sit  on my lap, touched her cheeks, wiped the tears and said,

"Don't cry Maa, everything will be alright..."

You know, being a physician, I have witnessed several deaths till now.  But this one was totally different for me... To be true, I never had to console a child who just became an orphan from the lovely princess of her father... I know that she would be taken care of properly by her near relatives... But has anybody seen the future??

Somebody said that death is also an art, but I would rather say that its an inevitable unbearable art !!!

Memories: A husband's concern!!!

Year: 2005... I can't remember the date or month... I was doing my internship at that time after passing out my MBBS course... It was my posting in the Dept. of Obstetrics & Gynaecology for 2 months... That day I was having my Labour Room duty... After the delivery of a baby, my senior (a Post Graduate student) asked me to convey the good news to the attendants who were eagerly waiting outside.. It was a normal delivery without any complications and both the mother and the baby were doing well... I went to the door and called the name of the mother. One well dressed guy of around 30 yrs came forward... From the concern that was clearly visible on his face, it could be easily presumed that he was a very near relative... I am not saying that when somebody cares, his/her concern is always displayed on the face everytime.. In my professional and personal life I have met quite a no. of people who can well suppress their feelings and can remain stable even during the worst moments of their lives... But in this particular case, that person's concern was totally visible through his eyes and the face. So without making him to wait any more, I conveyed him the news...

"Congratulations, its a baby boy!!!"

"Thank you sir... Thanks a lot, but how is my wife?"

"Oh... Don't worry... She is fine... Anyway, do you want to see the baby?"

"No, thank you Sir, I would like to see both the mother and the baby together...!!"

I was blessed to witness the real love of a husband... And I informed the same to the wife also...

"Your husband cares for you a lot... He wanted to see you first, not the baby!!"

You know, I feel short of words to describe the shy vivid smile of satisfaction that appeared in the lips of that lady... May be that being an unknown person to both of them, I somehow helped to develop the bond of love between the two even more stronger!!!

Prior to that very incident and even after that, I have conveyed this type of news for countless times till now... Whether its a boy or a girl, most of the times (leaving aside some of the cases of delivery of a baby girl which I have already discussed in one of my previous updates!) I have witnessed the rapid spread of the abruptly appearing smiles of  happiness amongst the family members... But I am sorry to say that except that particular husband, I have never met any other person in my life, not even within my family, who is that much prompt to enquire about the very person for whom they were able to hear the good news... Even if for some moments, everytime there is a time lag to question about the mother's well being... To be true, personally I have never met anyone else who could suppress their feelings to see the newborn baby till the mother is brought out of the labour room...

You see, when a lady gets pregnant, the whole family waits for around 9 months to welcome a new member to the family... So at last when the clock ticks and the wait is over, its quite natural to celebrate that moment and forget about everything else... But actually  it has been never a "good feeling" to see even the husbands to forget about their wives at that very moment.. But nobody is to blame... If you are a husband or anyone who has the experience of waiting outside a labour room even for once, then you would be the right person to question yourself and you will get the proper answer... Who knows, if everything goes well and if one fine day my wife also gets pregnant, even I might fail during that very significant test of my life...

That husband was able to make a memorable deep impression within the core of my heart which I quite often rejoice and it makes me believe that real love actually exists!! His wife didn't have any complications, but even if somehow something untoward happened to his wife, I am sure that he was not that type of guy to deprive the baby of a father's love and care...

I know, I would never be able to recognize that husband even if I meet him someday... Thus by this update, I would like to thank him for setting up an fine example for me and everybody.. Wherever he is, I hope he is having a happy family with his loving wife... May the almighty bless them all !!!

Totally wrong first impressions !!!

That day I was returning from Accoland, Guwahati with three of my nephews and nieces... As I crossed the Maligaon overbridge (Guwahati), I noticed something unusual... Actually that day it was too hot... There was a car in front of mine, a red coloured WagonR, of which all the windows were tightly shut and somebody was using a hand held fan made of bamboo... I felt it somewhat funny... All the windows were shut and that they had to use a hand held fan means their AC was not functioning properly... If they were feeling that much heat, they could simply open their windows... Anyway there was neither any dust nor any foul smell at that place!!!

I was about to have my final funny opinion about those people... But suddenly I noticed one head raising for a moment near their rear window on the left side of the seat.. And you know...  My opinion totally changed all of a sudden... Actually some ill person was there inside that car... The lady in the middle of the  rear seat, who was using the hand held fan was doing the same not for her own comfort, but for the comfort of the ill one... Probably they were on their way to a hospital... You can easily presume the emotional turmoil the said lady was going through, who was trying to cool off her dear one using a fan inside a car even after the AC was on...

After some time I lost track of the car in the heavy traffic... But I really felt sorry for drawing a funny remark on somebody who was actually in great tension!!!

You know... This is just a simple single example of the whole lot of mistakes we make in our entire life... Sometimes we are in a too hurry to draw an impression... Sometimes we just fail to understand others...Occasionally we are able to overcome these first impressions, but most of the times we just fail... Sometimes just because of these wrong impressions some relationships come to an end even before the start... Sometimes someone is even forced to suffer a hell lot of pain... 

During my professional and also in my personal life,  I have so many alike experiences... Sometimes at first I misjudge a person (by his appearance) to be too arrogant until I start talking...

Few weeks back, I witnessed a news on TV where some outsider young boys were beaten black and blue by an angry mob in a village...  They were suspected (baselessly?) to be involved in some illegal unsocial activities... Their physical appearance acted against themselves to increase the anger of the enraged people... They had tattoes, long hair, unconventional beards and all... No doubt, I never support those people who take laws into their own hands... This is a different topic and will be discussed elsewhere.. But you know what... I have personally met a number of such young boys who are actually much more humble and polite than most of our so called gently dressed people...

Around one month back I met a cute couple at my clinic...  You can invariably use all those terms like "Made for each other" etc for this pair..  I was highly impressed by their personality.. The way the husband expressed his concern about his wife, it didn't take me much time to realize his caring nature... The wife was having a black eye following some blunt trauma... I was examining her and he went outside for a moment to answer a phone call...

"Actually sir, he is the man... Frequently he use to heavily drink and then beat me up... "

I was stunned.. She couldn't continue any longer as her husband came inside within a moment. I couldn't even decide what to say or how to act on that sudden unexpected realization... But I didn't miss the silent request  in the eyes of that young lady to keep myself quiet...

Somebody rightly said that first impression is not always the last impression... To be true, it can actually be multilayered!!!

An apology to all those parents !!

On Thursday night my younger sister called me. Actually my 1 year 10 months old nephew was having some health related issues for which their consulting Pediatrician had advised him an MRI examination... Most probably he is having some minor problems, but thinking about the differential diagnosis (probable various conditions/diseases that may result in the said health related problems) and about all the possible consequences, they had become somewhat tense. My sister is also a doctor, but invariably in most of the cases a mother is just a mother to a child, her professional knowledge doesn't work much. Anyway even if it could be a minor surgery, there is every possibility that he might have to undergo one in not too distant future.. I am almost sure that it would be a 'very' minor surgery, but he is not even 2 years old.. Being so young, he would have to undergo the operation under general anaesthesia, i.e. he would be kept unconscious by anaesthetic medications during the procedure...

These days the medical field has developed a lot and provided everything remains systematic and technically correct, he won't have any untoward effect from this simple  operation... Yet an operation is an operation...

So on Friday, after I attended my duties at my workplace and then after I finished my evening chamber, I went to my sister's place... We had to discuss about the further treatment protocol...

Till I was at my clinics, I was busy with my patients and to be true I didn't feel much for my nephew... But as I was on my way to meet him, unknowingly I became somewhat emotional... I know, he has a minor problem and soon he would be absolutely fine, yet I could not resist myself and went to a shop and bought a teddy bear for him. Usually I take one or two small Cadbury chocolates for him and sometimes even I meet him without any gift... But that day at that moment I felt like a chocolate is too less for him and a teddy would be something better... By doing such, I was actually trying to see him even more happier...

So after paying for the same I once again started my car and headed towards my nephew's place... Then all of a sudden one agonizing feeling disturbed me from the core of my heart....

When I was doing my internship in GMCH specially in Pediatrics department and later during my life as a junior resident in the Dept. of Pediatrics in Tripura Medical College, I met quite a number of financially poor parents.. Quite often some of them asked me naming some of the expensive foods, whether they can provide those to their ailing kids... Sometimes I allowed, sometimes I denied owing to the kid's health condition... Sometimes I even answered roughly, "These expensive things are unnecessary for now... Rather spend your money on the medications prescribed and on a healthy diet!!!" What even if I answered like that keeping in view of their financial status, that they might face short of money to buy essential medications once they spend on those expensive products, yet I feel sorry for them today....

On routine basis their monthly income doesn't permit them to provide fruits and other expensive nutritious diets to their kids. But once they fall ill, all parents become even more concerned... They try to provide them the happiness they desire, what if it causes a hole in their pockets... Simply they try to make their kids even more happier during their illness like I was trying the same with my nephew...

Once I reached my destination, my nephew came running to me with the cutest smile on his face calling me "Mama.. Mama"...

I smiled at him, called him "Ghotu..", lifted him up and kissed his both cheeks with the utmost affection...

Later after I had my tea, when I described my aforementioned feelings to my younger sister, she replied,

"You know Baba, your these feelings will increase even more once you become a father!!!!"

I was just speechless.... Thus by this update, I want to say sorry to all those parents whose emotions I somehow failed to understand!!!

Independence day and the terrorists !!!

My mother has come to Guwahati day before yesterday. According to her schedule, she stayed for one night at my place, then for 2 nights she will stay at my younger sister's place and then in the early hours of 16th of August, she will again leave for my hometown Morigaon to resume her duties. Accordingly yesterday after my duty was over, I dropped her at my younger sister's place at Bharalu. After that I was returning to my rented house at Ulubari. It was already evening and while I was crossing the busy Paltan Bazar area driving my car, incidentally this thought came to my mind...

"What if now a bomb blasts near me and I just become a past!!!"

It was 14th August... As usual some "BANDHs" have been called by some organizations on 15th of August, i.e. on our Independence Day... Already high alert has been declared by the govt and the security has also been seemingly increased than before keeping in view of some terrorist activity...

You know.... Its very easy for these terrorists to end the life of a common man like me... Its very easy for them to stealthily place a bomb anywhere and then to have a blast and take lives to increase(?) their importance and to display their power!!! But you know what? If you are really strong enough, you should have the courage to fight from the front... These kinds of cowardice acts like bomb blasts and all would not serve anything in the greater interest of the nation...

Few days back one of my friend said to me, "You know Partha, Mahatma Gandhi and other freedom fighters were also termed terrorists by the then Govt... Likewise those, whom we term terrorists now will also be called the saviour of our people in coming near future... Already you have some 'live' examples I suppose..."

I answered, "You know, our forefathers did fight against some foreigners... They had public support... But those acting now are fighting against their own people.. Ask for public voting and see if any of these so called organizations come forward... I think nobody amongst them have that moral courage... That's the difference !!!"

You call yourselves "freedom fighters"... You blame the govt of forcefully imposing everything on us... But answer me one question honestly... What are you people doing? By killing those innocents and creating an atmosphere of terror, you are also doing the same... You are also trying to forcefully implement your views upon us... The kids may not be aware of their well being's, but at least we, the adults, know it well what is good and what is bad for us... So if you need attention, its well and good... But try something else... Why make our lives terrible?

Whenever there are some news of some terrorist activity, whenever there are some news of loss of lives related to all these and in case happening near the places of my dear ones, my heart feels emptiness for sometime... One mightn't not feel it all the time or everyday, but nobody can be sure whether he/she would be able to return home safely... Even my mother, wife and sister call me sometimes immediately after such kinds of news items are being broadcast... They may not like to ask it directly, but by their action it becomes apparent that they want to hear my clear voice... It might sound heartening, but... Indirectly they try to know it for sure that their loving son/husband/brother is still alive!!!!

So yesterday when all of a sudden that feeling of becoming a "past" came to my mind, somehow I didn't feel any kind of fear for death... Instead one smile appeared on my face... I was driving my car.... And from deep inside my heart I was just cursing those terrorists... Anyway, thank you for making our lives miserable!!! Happy independence day...!!!!